Ah, you hit a chord with me.

Don't: 'Let him make all the decisions. It is no longer about trying to make him happy but doing what is best for YOU. It is hard for us to do this after years of conditioning but important for our well-being.'

Yep, I have been conditioned to keep the boat from rocking, and even though I do stand up for myself, I always cringe and wonder what the fall-out will be.

It stinks and it's a roller coaster ride, but that is normal. I went straight to the church, prayed with my pastor and left with the name of a faith based counselor. I sent out an e-mail and told my friends, briefly, what happened and asked them to pray for me. Perhaps that sounds a little vain, but I couldn't yet talk about it that easy and I wanted these people to know what I was going through. They can't help you if they don't know. I reached out and people surrounded me with love, understanding and kindness. Talking about it helps me. I try not to be overbearing to my friends, so I vent on this site. Hugs and prayers.

I still cringe also but try not to let it stop me. Praying someday that part goes away.

Pain for me is just but a state of mind. What I mean is, you should get yourself busy. Be brave and try to get familiarized with the basic laws on divorce.