Awhile ago I told my sons that a married man asked me out just to see what they felt about it. Ex is involved with a married woman.

My oldest said my happiness was most important. But he really could not see me getting involved with someone that was married. He is my step-son but my son in both our hearts.Said out of ALL his parents I would be the last one he would think would do this. Said he honestly felt this was WRONG.

Second son (again step and not as close) said that since I live in a small town he didn't think it was a good idea because people would find out.Admitted that he had a relationship with a married woman in the past and felt no regret about it. This coming from a kid whose first wife cheated on him. I just don't get it.

Haven't explored this issue with son #3 as he was unavailable at the time. Planning to ask him about it but he got involved with a married woman himself so don't think he will see this as a BIG issue.

Son #4 thought I should tell the wife. Guessing he doesn't know Dad's new love is married.

Pretty sure EX has not been honest with kids about the new love of his life. Know for a fact that he is not telling the rest of his family that she is married.If he has then they are not being honest with him about how they feel about this issue.

Doubt it would make any difference in any case. He (EX) has always felt that HIS happiness justifies anything.

Guess my Big issue here is that it scares me that my sons think that this is okay behavior in any way. SO NOT.

Thanks for letting me vent.

My kids are still little, but I tell them they'll never be too old to get a lecture from me, and I mean it. Perhaps they haven't thought through the consequences of this type of behavior. Obviously their father hasn't. I'd enlighten them. What their dad decides to do you can't help, but give them something to chew on for awhile. It may save someone else from going through what we are someday.

Dear Stillhurting, I understand your deep pain and anger. Please forgive me for this statement. I am not sure how wise that actually was of you. Your son's surely looked up to you for always taking the high road. In my thinking this has greatly impacted their respect for you. I don't believe they would ever tell you this but I'm sure this was very disappointing for them to hear. You are probably their only shinning example of goodness so please don't damage that. This shows you haven't been able to heal and let go. My advise is tell them the truth and then stay out of it. Your ex and his new women will get caught and you will be the bad guy if you contribute to this. Trust me the boys and his family will find out the truth eventually. Don't damage your relationship with the boys. Our children learn from our examples so put the best example out there you can for them to see. I'm so sorry for the pain you still feel and I wish I could do something to take it away for you. This is not a good way to take it away. God will see to it they pay for their sins all in good time and he doesn't want you to help him. Please feel free to voice anything you want. I just hope because it isn't me I can be more objective in my thinking. We are all here for you always.

Why don't you just say their Dad is seeing a married woman and you think that isn't right but Dad has his reasons...I see nothing wrong with letting them know this fact because it is the truth. Just try not to get them to choose sides...

Don't play games with your sons...They are step sons...and will always see and forgive their Dad...blood is thicker afterall.

You stay strong...and in the end, you will look and feel good because it isn't you that ran off with a married person.