I was talking with the divorce care instructor in my area today (was going to start class again) and he told me that they have a class for couples who are not divorced yet, where the decision of wether or not to get a divorce is put off until the end of class. It is 6 weeks long. The only catch is that both husband and wife have to attend.
My husband and I are already separated. I've already agreed to a divorce. As long as I agree to get divorced and don't pressure him to "fix" our marriage, he is willing to financially support me until I can get a job (which I am desperately looking for) and he is going to keep me on his health insurance.
I don't know if I should really rock the boat or not. I originally asked him to go to counseling and he said absolutely not. But what about a class? A class is not counseling.
Our problems have been mostly about money. We both have always had good jobs where we weren't rich but could afford whatever we wanted but then he got laid off and we lost everything our house, our cars got repoed, we moved across country trying to find work ect. Then we both found jobs and started to get back on our feet. Then I lost my job and money became tight again. That along with my mother and nephew moving in with us. He ran away.
I have since got my mother and nephew into their own home. But he is still not willing to come back. In fact, he said thank you for making me realize I don't want to be married. I might have wasted my whole life (I know a little cruel). So I feel like our marriage is over, but there is one tiny little spark of hope that I don't know if I should just put it out and move on or try and see what happens.
I should add the guy who teaches the class said 7 out 9 couples who take the class stay together.
Teresa, if your husband agrees, then go. It's worth a try.
My ex went/goes to Divorce Care and after we were divorced he got to sit in on a group for couples who were in marriage crises. Although it was too late for us in that we were already divorced, many times he said that he KNOWS that if we had gone to that, we wouldn't have been divorced.
I'd say go for it. However, only you know how determined he is to get this divorce. By the time Jerk left there was NOTHING anyone could have done to get him to stay. When he left he said, "I'll go to counseling with you, but know right now that it will not change the outcome of our marriage. We are getting divorced." Hey, with that attitude I wasn't going to spend my time and energy trying. It does take 2 no matter what road is taken to get there. But if you think he would even consider it, go for it. Let us know what you do.