Womans Divorce Forum

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Womans Divorce Forum
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Needs HELP

My first time ever of any kind of forum
I have been divorced for 2 years already after I filed for divorce (had been married for 30 yrs ) to
an verbally abusive ex husband he have and still have some health problems during my marriage maybe that is why
I feel sorry for him (he is 64 years old )
He does not have any closed friends and he have a sister that he does not have too much of a relationship
I feel sorry for him because he will grow older without anyone taking care of him
Why am I feeling this way ????
I have 3 adult kids that does not want to be in his life either after he treated me with no respect
Please help me understand why I feel sorry and sad for him
We are both financially established
Thank you

Re: Needs HELP

Love doesnt make sense. You took care of him so long. It will be hard to relinquish that responsibility spiritually. He will have to grow without his crutch. If he refuses he chooses suffering. He may be accustomed to it. Numb to it. You are not. You are on a different vibration. Thats why you had to leave. Its incredibly sad. I feel this pain. We cant save everyone at our own expense. You can be an example for your children.
If hes like my husband. It may seem he is so alone. He will align eventually with someone who can reflect on his level of healing.
It may help to try some visualization where you see a hot air balloon (represents your life...whose in the basket with you?) tethered by 4 ropes. The four ropes represent your (toxic?) and also perfectly normal human attatchment to this person who hurt you. For me the ropes were 1. Codependency stemming from a need for approval 2. A sense of "i have to do this for the family" sacrifice. Low self worth. 3. A need to control ..."im the only one who can save him/ love him etc."4. Fear of walking alone. Autonomy. For myself and others.
Cut the ropes ...each one in your mind...see your balloon take flight. Imagine him protected yet its not your responsibility anymore. Send him love. Forgiveness. But most of all send it to yourself.
Best wishes for healing