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Re: Gave up 20 years of my life...its as if no one notices

Wow! My mind is blown I just read what you wrote and other than the age of your children your marriage sounds like my marriage was. But also everything that went on in an abusive way 10 years out of 17 years. it's been 5 years now and Ive realized in that time.that I was the main reason why our marriage ended up like it did. But the truth is God turned my decision into something great. He took those trials and tribulations.From my marriage to make me stornger in ways that I would have to be for my spiritual walk with God and for him to be able to use me for his purpose.in the beginning when I left I went through depression, loneliness, feeling worthlessness,lost physically mentally spiritually.Not knowing that it was just a season a long season I must say...Just to end up having the most amazing relationship with my creater, finding out my purpose,Having more understanding about the truth in life and of our Heavenly Father.And seeing him use his amazing power first hand. What's also amazing is him using me.Him loving me so much having faith in me just a regular child of his nothing special far from it. To spread his love to the lost while I was just as lost as my brothers and sisters. And brought me out the same time.To come to a close we are in the last days for real more now then ever before.you are going to start if you haven't already being enlightened. During this time you're going to go through a lot of trials and tribulations.you feeling lost and blaming yourself for a lot of things that's went wrong in your life having regret wishing you could go back do things different.Having trouble forgiving yourself and easier forgiving the one who hurt you. I promise you stay strong make sure not to loss your heart and know that all of what you been though and is going to be going through will pass will get easier and the good that comes out of it out weights the bad.with out me going through that I wouldn't have found my calling, and God wouldn't have been able to use me the way he has. The relationship God and I have is stronger than it was before I meet my soon to be ex. Which I thought our relationship then was incredible but now it's unbelievable. I know what your going through first hand. My advice is: you need to forgive your husband, if you already haven't and forgive your self for the decisions you made in y'alls relationship. Which I am pretty positive that the only bad decisions you made all those years ago that was the decisions that changed your life and eventually coused the ending of your marriage. Was you putting your husband before your relationship with God.You shouldn't blame yourself completely for your husband becoming who you see now. The man you see now was and has always been. You have to forgive in each and everyway including yourself! Forgiving yourself is the last before you become more spiritually aware and connected with your father. Don't get me wrong there's more stages of your enlightenment that will come eventually. But what you're going through right now you're about to come out of that kind of burden that you are having. I will come more into the light when do that you will feel more peace. I love you and God bless! Keep your faith in God! There's a light at the end of the tunnel and you will have more peace as time goes on. Everything does get easier. God bless!love you! Your sis.....,