I am sorry you are going through all of this. However, remember all the fears/concerns you're expressing are what kept you in the relationship for so long. It's natural to have concerns about the unknown. Whenever I do, I try to think of my highest thought of something amazing happening and set my mind on that expectation. Perhaps you have seen the worst or maybe not in your decision to stay. I believe in prayer so I will pray for you and hope with you for the BEST!
Remind yourself, as I do, that I have chosen myself because my health and wellbeing are utterly important to me. AND...I love me MORE! Sending positive vibes of reassurance!!!