I can relate on many of your levels of pain. I too have gone through the no eat, no sleep, fear, worry, anxiety, gut wrenching type of pain. I feel like my soon to be ex moved on already as well. The things I am finding out about him hurts my soul. Then he walks around the house whistling (yes I'm tortured by still living together) and acting as if he is unbothered by this all and that just grinds my gears. It makes me think he wanted this for a while and truly is happy that it's over. The killer is, I don't even know what I did that was so bad. I think that's what hurt the most. How can you trade in your family, a wife that has held you down with no question, for what? A moment of satisfaction perhaps? Well I can't wait to get my strength back so I can walk around the house whistling with happiness as well and see how he like it! I wish you ladies all the best. One day we'll look back on all of this and be proud of what we made it through! We got this!