It has almost been 3 weeks since I received the surprise of my life. I am american, now living in Paris France with my ex and two children and a dog.
Out of the blue, he told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore. He doesn't love me anymore. My world turned upside down. To make the matter worst, I have no family or friends here. We live together, we built a home outside of Paris with all the good stuff...We also have a restaurant together and work together. The kids don't know yet. In two days we will tell them. My heart ache.
I have been trying to understand the cause of this to better heal and move on. Then there are all of these other questions popping up.... How to organise, and so on...

I pray a lot. I cried a lot. I get on and off the rollercoasters often, not to my liking. It just comes and go. I know me yelling is a way to show my anger towards him but I know it gives him power and I have none now.
I am pushing to take care of myself for once.

Took a week off with a girlfriend and came to the realisation that he never put me first. I learn a term for him, to make things easier to understand for my sake so i can cope with this new chapter in my life. Taro reading...mems from instagram... Praying... Anything to make the pain stop for a while. I know I have a way to go.
Anyways, the term for him is an AVOIDANT. I have one too, ANXIOUS. We both are afraid of abandoment.. I am working with a therapist to heal. He doesn't know and think he is fine. He already started erasing my photos credit on istagram...and there will be more battles coming. I hope I have my bulletproof vest and stay calm while I ride this wave of **** up ****....

Tonight I go home to the kids. I miss them. Stay calm is my mantra. Let it go. Work towards you Thai.

Is there anyone else out there with the same problem?
Any kind words or advices?
Kindly
T

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is going to be a rollercoaster but you are gonna learn how strong you really are.

I would love to suggest you listen to a podcast episode that talks about "the 5 chapters to surviving a separation". You are just starting out and it could help give you perspective as to where you are heading.

Since links can't be shared here. You can search for the "From DEVASTATED to DIVORCED" podcast and then listen to Season 3 Episode 25. I am sure you will find other Helpful episodes but I would stat there. I am rooting for you!

I am currently in your shoes. 11 years , 8 years of marrriage , five kids , moved to his hometown where all his family is located and he asked for a separation. Our marriage was rocky for a few years and we married young . I put everything on hold to work and then become a stay at home mom to support him and his career and even helped him with course work and now, two years into his career he can’t take it anymore. He says he still loves him but his mental health is suffering. He stayed at the house for months , acted jealous towards other men and friends and still wanted to have sex . He would cook for me and do things for me that he normally wouldn’t do before. But he still wanted separation. He doesn’t want me to file yet and he doesn’t want to split me from our account . Our daughters are struggling ( the two eldest) and they are staying at his mom’s house cause our fights have been a lot. After our eldest pleaded his mom to help us, I told him he needed to leave and he finally did after four months! I now feel lonely and empty. But better. It is so heartbreaking though cause if I could , Inwould continue to stay married

Hi, I completely understand what you're going through and it's tough. I feel like I've been crying for days. We've been together 11 years and he decided it's over but the problem is we never married so I'm pretty much out with nothing. I have to leave my home and pets. I will never put myself in a situation like this again. My daughter's keep telling me it will pass. I just turned 60 and starting over. Sucks! I hope you will feel better soon and just remember there are others going through this too. You're not alone. Best wishes for you!

Oh I feel you here! I’m in the same boat; but not in another country. Known each other for 20 years, married almost 15, 2 kids. Different state with no family!
3 weeks ago out of the blue, I’m not happy there is no chance, I don’t want to be with you.
He’s still in the house
He still wants to “do things as a family together”. Like vacation.
But he wants out
Doesn’t want to even try.
I’m hurt, I’m grieving the life I thought I had the future I thought I had.

Just here to say I feel for you! 🫶🏼