Hello! I’m Sara and honestly I feel like I’m ready for divorce but I’m not sure how to or where to even begin.

To start I guess I’ll give my background for better information, me and my husband met in college. After dating for three months COVID hit and we were stuck in his home state (Florida, I live in New York) for four months together. In that mean time I became pregnant. We decided to keep the baby and after a few months of dating a planning for our baby we decided to get married. After a year and a half of marriage I was unfaithful. And right the month following my affair I became pregnant with my second baby. My child belongs to my husband and we both know it. Anyhow I have trouble staying sexually attracted to my husband and it’s not the physical appearance it’s the emotional aspect. We rarely have sex and when we do it last like three minutes and is just not normally enjoyable for me. Anyhow besides the emotional intimacy me and his parents hate eachother. We have fought so many times and can’t ever seem to see eye to eye on anything. There’s so many story’s I can tell about how hateful toward me but I think the part that makes me most upset is how my husband is like their little servant. Anything and everything that they want or say he bows down to them at the knees. His parents have both made me feel as though I’m constantly a ***** and out to get them and he plays the obvious card or doesn’t stand up for me nor stand up for me his wife. It’s getting old and I just feel like a constant ***** all the time because honestly I’m just not happy.

I have no idea what to do or where to go from here. This man is so nice and I’ve never met anyone like him before he has a heart so big with so much love and I just want to be able to accept it but I can’t. He never truly cares about my feelings or how I feel in situations where his parents take complete control over him, it’s the most unattractive thing to me and the only word I can think of in these situations is that he’s a *****. Hes so so so very close with my family and I love him with my family, especially my kids but when it comes to being in love im just not sure if its there… I need help because I don’t want to make this decision and not be 100% especially because we have kids and my kids think the world of their father. I don’t want to be miserable, I just want to be happy but I feel like being in this marriage isn’t what will bring me happiness.

I am in quite similar situation but you are lucky in many ways. My husband does not care for me, doesnt initiate sex and if we do and of late its been no sex even if i initiate. There is no open hugs or kisses and its come to a state where i cant even stand talking to him already. I feel so used in that i did everything to help him from A-Z helping him to build from zero houses to 10 on his portfolio and now, even if i have to talk to him, i have to say things 3-4times before he really listens. I wanted to walk out many times but just fear the mess of a divorce. If i were to leave this marriage, i doubt i want to leave empty handed and fighting over 10property and a child is going to be real ugly. How or where do i start?