I feel your pain. I am in a 11 year marriage where we have one child together and I have two step kids. Our journey has had many ups and down, but ultimately I thought we'd be together forever. He recently has told me that he doesn't think we are compatible any longer. The house we live on belonged to him prior to us being together, so I feel it is place to move out since he has three kids and after our split I will only have one. He says I can stay as long as I want, but this just makes everything more complicated. In one way it will be easier for my child to not have two homes to split her time between and also financially it will be more difficult for me on only one income. On the other hand, I feel like how long stay living in the same house with him if we are not in a relationship. We really don't argue and since he told me that he doesn't want to be together we just live parallel lives with only communication about the kids activities. When I mentioned to him about me moving out, he actually liked shocked and said I told you could stay. Being on my own will be lonely, but living at our house feels like I emotionally keep hanging onto the chance that he will change his mind eventhough he doesn't show any indication that he will. Can anyone give advice on how long we should live under one roof?
How close are you to the step kids? If you can get therapy and separate your love for him into a business arrangement that might work. But you need to know it’s over, set ground rules, get money from him and make a plan for yourself in case you decide to move out. He doesn’t need to know your plans. Hope that helps. Oh and men are jerks! Don’t feel guilty either living there until YOU are financially stable to make another choice
He probably won't change his mind,and it sounds like you're still in love with him.
You know the answer - you need to move.
However, with kids, it's not that easy. And there are financial reasons to stay as well, by the sound of it.
I've been separated under one roof with my ex close to two years now. It's not great - he was controlling during the marriage, and still tries to control me when he can now. I am stuck until we settle the property, as there is a terrible rental crisis where we live, so I'm stuck financially.
If you can afford to, move out as soon as you can.
It's hard to shift into a new space mentally, I understand. It's scary. But you know you need to do this. You are very smart and aware of the situation you're in. You'll be thanking yourself afterward, believe me. A better life is waiting...