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Re: Loyalty?

What does it say in The Rules?

"There is no loyalty in youth hockey. Team owners / managers / coaches burned that bridge a long time ago. They will cut a kid just because they can and there is no reason why players or parents shouldn’t respond by acting in a similar fashion. It’s all fair in love and youth hockey."

Re: Loyalty?

I hate to say it because I'm one of them but parents are worse than most coaches these days. I sit quietly behind the glass and listen to everybody scheming about multiple tryouts and skates with other programs and then telling the coach that the player had a school function or was sick and couldn't make practice. One guy on our team has verbally excepted for next year but most parents know that they are leaving. Only person that doesn't is the coach.

Re: Loyalty?

Typically, kids are cut for 2 reasons
1. Kid is in way over his head
2. Parents
You don't see bottom 3-5 kids get cut from a good team and sign somewhere else and light it up.
They usually play in a division where they belong and develop.

The only time you see a better player get cut is when Mom or Dad is constantly
Questioning everything the coach does, sends 3 page emails, follows a coach to the locker after a game or
Just continuously starts rumors for no reason. Your the problem, go bother someone else.

Re: Loyalty?

So which kid do you keep? You only cut 1
Player 1 - 25/20 45
Player 2 - 4/12 16
Player 3 - 3/17 20
Player 4 - 15/20 35

Re: Loyalty?.

Sorry your kid got cut
So which kid do you keep? You only cut 1
Player 1 - 25/20 45
Player 2 - 4/12 16
Player 3 - 3/17 20
Player 4 - 15/20 35


Kids with these numbers would stay on my roster, seem to be producing in whatever league they are in.
Now, if Mom and Dad are a PIA, any of these players would be gone.
Its my job to create lines that will produce with who is there. Over the years I have made up
For losing "golden boys" by focusing on better defense and goaltending.
You have to adapt each season, but no amount of points is worth an over the top parent.

Re: Loyalty?.

I promise we didnt go to tryouts for that other team

Re: Loyalty?.

Will loyalty be tested on day two of tryouts?

Re: Loyalty?.

Anon
Will loyalty be tested on day two of tryouts?


Definately tested on day 2. I love parents that are so weak that they cant help themselves. Kaboom!

Re: Loyalty?.

Lots of movement....I like the parents who peel the stickers off of their kids' helmets but then have them show up wearing the former team's practice jersey.

Re: Loyalty?.

I like when they don't make the new team they tried out for, show up at your tryout thinking the are all set, then you cut them and the end up playing town.

Re: Loyalty?.

Spy
I promise we didnt go to tryouts for that other team


You were seen. Bagged!

Re: Loyalty?

anon
It's the age old dilemma of winning vs fun.At what age is it ok to cut a kid?


Immediately when it is proven they cannot compete.

Re: Loyalty?

Minot sure about this. I know there were 1-2 players on our team being told they were not guaranteed a spot. First thing, the might be 3rd line players but on a team where the 3rd line isn't noticably below the 1st line in ability. So as Im watching tryouts I am looking at the new kids and while done see at the same ability and 1-2 May be slightly above those 1-2 that are on the block, the are not 1st like be it better so isn't it better to keep the chemistry of the team together than add 1-2 they aren't stand outs? Call me a sap but I do feel bad for those couple and feel like a slight improvement in 1 or 2 3rd line players isnt going to make a big difference in the team

Re: Loyalty?

Parents are the worst, way worse than programs. Liars. Sleezy. Back stabbed. FU all!

Re: Loyalty?

Anon
Parents are the worst, way worse than programs. Liars. Sleezy. Back stabbed. FU all!

UHmmmm. Sorry half your team left coach but maybe there is a reason for that. On our team 2 left because they were not happy. They told the coach the last week of games. But except for 1-2 that were told they "might" not have a spot, the rest were not told they are guaranteed spots. And this is s team that did pretty well. I think the parents/ players are in s more vulnerably position. And kudos to the two parents who told the coach upfront

Re: Loyalty?

Screw you buddy. All parents are aweful. I put up with your crappy kids and even took that all teeth BJ from your wife to get the kids on the team in the first place. Buzz off. You ungrateful slob.

Re: Loyalty?

How about the package deals? My 05 is great, did I mention i also have an 03 not so great that needs a spot?

Re: Loyalty?

Anon
Screw you buddy. All parents are aweful. I put up with your crappy kids and even took that all teeth BJ from your wife to get the kids on the team in the first place. Buzz off. You ungrateful slob.


Tell you what, She can bring her little guy down to our tryout and she and I can discuss the options for placement!

Re: Loyalty?

Are the same kids keeping with the tradition of switching teams again this year? The record I know of is 8 moving into u14. Next up is 6 in 6 total years of play.

Re: Loyalty?

Of course... it could never be that little Johnny isn't very good. Must be the coaches are not developing him, not seeing the potential or playing favorites. So lets jump from program to program until he cracks that elite team roster.

In the meantime these kids are missing out on the best part of hockey. The memories built with your teammates and playing multiple years with kids who become your lifelong friends.


I really wish we could deal with the kids and not parents at eval time because they would make the right decisions !

but again... this isn't about the kids right !

Re: Loyalty?

Anon
Hey parents, FU. I've coached in the EHF for a while now and have my informants in the stands. Funny how you badmouth the coaching staff during the season and kiss our ass during tryouts. Don't like the line combos, FU! Don't like that little Johnny doesn't play PP or PK, FU! Don't like me bringing in better talent to skate during practices, FU! Don't like the hard truth that your son is not as good as you think he is, FU!

Parents justify what they think they need to do for their kid's best interest. That's OK in their minds but not when the program does the same thing. Yet those of the same pants that will complain about the win loss record at the end of the year.

I got one thing to say about that, wait for it, wait for it, yup FU!

Nice coach. I can only hope you' are not my kids coach because it's clear the kind of person you are. The way you sound on the dboard is a clear give away on why your parents are in the stands talking about you in the first place. And here's a news flash, those parents in the stand who report back to you are the ones who are actually sucking up to make sure their Johnny doesn't get cut. I can hear you swearing at your 9 years olds during practices. Kids who have good coaches are taught a lot more than just the game. You are not in be of those coaches

Re: Loyalty?

Hey coach, here's the truth: Your kid sucks and he wouldn't be playing if you weren't coaching. Deep down you know it but rather than move him to Town B, you play him top minutes. You drive away your top players because they grow tired of watching your kid and your assistants kids losing the game. They are tired of getting yelled at while you tell your son, "nice effort, nothing you could do on that one." Talent is slim at tryouts so you blame the turnover on the team for your record. "If the parents weren't such jerks and would leave their kids with me, we would have a decent team" you tell the parents who stayed. Here is another truth, it's YOU not the families who left that are to blame. You are the problem but you're too full of yourself to realize it. Your son isn't as good as you were and he's never going to be so stop now and let him find something he can excel at. He doesn't need to chase your dream, he should chase his own. The team, you and your son will be much happier when you figure out what he should be doing and you leave.

Re: Loyalty?

anon
Hey coach, here's the truth: Your kid sucks and he wouldn't be playing if you weren't coaching. Deep down you know it but rather than move him to Town B, you play him top minutes. You drive away your top players because they grow tired of watching your kid and your assistants kids losing the game. They are tired of getting yelled at while you tell your son, "nice effort, nothing you could do on that one." Talent is slim at tryouts so you blame the turnover on the team for your record. "If the parents weren't such jerks and would leave their kids with me, we would have a decent team" you tell the parents who stayed. Here is another truth, it's YOU not the families who left that are to blame. You are the problem but you're too full of yourself to realize it. Your son isn't as good as you were and he's never going to be so stop now and let him find something he can excel at. He doesn't need to chase your dream, he should chase his own. The team, you and your son will be much happier when you figure out what he should be doing and you leave.



This sounds like a situation a friend of mine had! Nicest family and kid is a solid player. The coaches completely ruined the team from the sounds of it.

Re: Loyalty?

Most businesses value their client base and offer all types of member benefits and loyalty discounts. This generally holds true from credit card companies, big retailers down to the local pizza parlor. Youth hockey organizations are different in that they resent their customers. Probably because most hockey organizations are run by ex-players who don't think like business people. They are caught in the moment and don't have a five/ten year vision of where the organization will be

Re: Loyalty?

In my experience, you can't have competitive sports without having winners and losers. So no, there is no loyalty, nor should there be. There are lessons to be learned by getting cut, lessons about perseverance, never quitting, trying harder... Even great players have stories of being cut from teams they had their heart set on making. Learning how to overcome adversity is part of why we have our kids play "competitive" sports.

And for what it's worth, I say this as a parent of boys playing select hockey, so our family has been on every side of this coin. We felt the pain of getting cut, the nerves of being "on the bubble," and the sense of pride that comes from being one of the top players guaranteed a spot.

In my experience "loyalty" to one family, in the sense of giving a kid a spot who hasn't earned it with his play, is usually a slap in the face to some other kid, maybe the alternate, who came to everything and worked his butt off all year, but is being kept off the team because the coach is friends with little Jimmy's parents.

If what's most important to you is keeping a group of kids together then enter your kid at a level where they don't keep score, or play house league. The teams won't change so your son/daughter can make and maintain the same friends and just enjoy playing for playing's sake. There's nothing wrong with that. But if you want to foster the kid's competitive side then you need to be prepared for the ups and downs and know that the downs are part of the process.

Re: Loyalty?

The only way to keep tryouts on the up and up is to bring in unbiased evaluators. Use High School head and assistant coaches/ skills coaches at the end of their season to come in and evaluate at tryouts or have the coaches evaluate at other levels to avoid conflicts ( obviously not a perfect solution). Once set, leave open a few "wild card" spots so the coach can hand pick a few if necessary. Don't announce coaches until team is picked. That way if his kid is not picked for Elite team than he can coach the team his kid is placed on. You will never, ever make everybody happy, but this might take the bias out. Bias is the issue! You see what you want to see; Boy, what a headsy play, he has intangibles. OR He just tries to do too much himself! Eye of the beholder!!

Re: Loyalty?

Anon
The only way to keep tryouts on the up and up is to bring in unbiased evaluators. Use High School head and assistant coaches/ skills coaches at the end of their season to come in and evaluate at tryouts or have the coaches evaluate at other levels to avoid conflicts ( obviously not a perfect solution). Once set, leave open a few "wild card" spots so the coach can hand pick a few if necessary. Don't announce coaches until team is picked. That way if his kid is not picked for Elite team than he can coach the team his kid is placed on. You will never, ever make everybody happy, but this might take the bias out. Bias is the issue! You see what you want to see; Boy, what a headsy play, he has intangibles. OR He just tries to do too much himself! Eye of the beholder!!


I would never sign up to play for a team that didn't name their coach before tryouts. Coach is too important. And believe me, if this scenario played itself out everyone would already know who the coach was (they rarely change year-to-year), and the "tryout game" would still go on, it would just be less transparent. It's fine the way it is, just play it smart and be realistic about your kid's skill level and you'll be fine.

Re: Loyalty?

It's much more about bad businesses with inferior products than loyalty. If you're kid is on a good team with a good coach and playing for an organization that focuses on player and skill development you will not see significant turnover. Generally kids who are good enough to make a decent/good club team are coachable and athletic. If they are in a good development environment they will grow and improve as players every year. Sure, there will be the odd player here and there that struggles as their peers get bigger or that doesn't have the aggression needed or that has difficult parents - so a player will get cut every now and then but 12-15 kids will be offered a spot again every year. If a team is constantly recruiting players from outside their organization because they are better than the players inside the organization it is because they do not develop players they recruit them. It is a bad product. Parents share the blame too. Why do parents leave the team that was responsible for providing their player with the environment to develop and improve to the point that they can go out and make one of these recruiting based teams? Maybe it's a club that has a name that they are proud of, maybe the kid that they have always thought was a stud plays for that team, maybe the commute is shorter... Whatever the reason, the environment and system that allowed their player to develop is being undervalued by the parents. Long story short - if a club doesn't display loyalty they are advertising that they don't develop their players and you shouldn't want your player there anyway.