I would go with a small dBoard above some emoji on the right front front of the shirt and choice of sayings on the back
"sorry your kid got cut", maybe "timber", "Missing Cap A, if found please return to Kowloon's", "[insert program name] sucks and is a money grab" and of course, "Just wait until checking starts".

This will allow you to appeal to a largest possible demographic.

I would go with a pocket on the front right and dboard on the left front. Got to go with Sorry your kid got cut on the back. It will be like the work shirts all you ******* idiots wear to work everyday! Now go bang a nail or dig a hole moron...

Add a picture of a crazy mother

May I suggest two color options for a TEAM EHF shirt and a TEAM E9 shirt !

A picture of a mom licking her lips in front...my kid plays in the ehf on the back

I like the crazy mom on it...kicking in a locker room door

I would have writing on the back saying "Bring Back the Old Dboard!"

I would have writing on the back saying "Bring Back the old lady picture posts, immature rants and angry Cap A letters!"

RIP Old DBoard, it sucked.