In the crazy world of youth hockey, its better to be upfront then secretive when planning to leave a team. Unless you are leaving the geographic area, all of the coaches know each other and talk, so as soon as you call another team or show up at a practice, your current coaches phone is ringing.
On the other hand, if you are skating/talking with other teams and your current coach is aware of it and not asking you to stop its pretty safe to say he isn't too upset you are leaving and you are saving him from having to cut your kid next year.

^^This is accurate

The real answer to this question is that you tell the coach when he asks you.

If he wants you back for next year he should be talking about it this week, especially in the FED Elite.

If he really wants you back, sometime in the next week, he will say so. No later than January 15th.

If he doesn't want you back, he won't initiate that conversation for awhile and may avoid it altogether.

If you think he is a douche that would take it out on your kid that you are leaving, be less definite. Explain that you are looking into some other options and you'll keep him posted if you make up your mind to leave.

If your coach hasn't told you by now that he wants your kid back (next season), then your kid is either on the bubble or he is looking to cut him/her. No need to tell him about you plans because he doesn't care that much. Any coach worth his weight has already had conversations with families about next season.

Your out of your mind. It's Jan 4th. Any coach worth his weight should be focused on getting ready for playoffs and developing your kid. Any coach who is already running around trying to keep players has already lost. The parents who complain about contracts not being handed out yet are the most insecure group.

You can say that, but in the fed when a player is moving from one team to another those conversations get done starting January 1st.

Let's make one thing really, really clear here. You owe the coach and the organization nothing. Period.

Anything a parent says as to why they are moving on can and may be used against them in the future. Coaches and G.M.'s move to different organizations and word does get around. You would hate for anything you say to be held against a 13-14 year old kid.

Shut your mouth and move on.

Again, coaches talk to each other especially at the older levels. Unless your just bouncing around from 1 low level team to another your best option would be to tell the coach or someone in the organization that you plan to leave.

After you invite him outside and smash his face in, I think then he will realize your gone, Then call your lawyer he will take care of the rest

You need help

I agree, and as someone who coached in the past, the caveat here is many of the coaches do talk - however, the good coaches who love the game and helping kids continue to do so usually take what other coaches say with a grain of salt and are aware that there are two sides to every story.

I always did, and found that most of the time, even kids/families that were spoken ill of by others usually are fine with a new organization that spells out the expectations and philosophy from the very beginning.

"...however, the good coaches who love the game and helping kids continue to do so usually take what other coaches say with a grain of salt..."

I met that guy once! Nice, nice guy.