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Re: The Rules

The Rules Guy
The Gospel: Hockey Parents - "things not to do" list -

A few ‘Don’ts’ for new hockey players & parents.

Hockey parent motto: “If I can screw your kid, it will make mine better”.

--- THE RULES ---

Never get caught carrying your kids hockey bag. Never, ever, ever.

Don't carry the game jerseys on hangers. They are hockey players, not ballerinas.

Don’t put your kid’s game jerseys into a separate garment bag – it’s not a tuxedo.

Stick bags....are you kidding me?

No wearing skate guards into the rink past Mites.

No going in the locker room to tie skates after Squirts.

No wheelie bag past Peewee, help the kid grow a set.

Never let your kid skate with the extra laces tied around their ankles. Nothing says ‘bender’ like having the wrong laces.

Never let your son pull his socks over the back of his skates, for daughters it’s ok.

Socks go over the tongue of the skates - always. Unless you’re over 30 then you can go ‘old school.’

Don't sit next to the parents of the worst kid on the team at the rink. Negativity is contagious and does nothing to help you or your kid.

Don't coach your kid on the car ride to the rink or on the car ride home.

Don't bang on the glass and yell.

Don't signal to get your kid's attention away from the coach's instructions in between periods.

Don't use a stop watch in the stands to time your kid’s shifts.

Don't ask stupid questions about the game or the rules when you're in the stands.

Don't blame the refs in front of your kid no matter how awful they were.

Don't buy all the "team" extras, like hockey bags, jackets, etc., because you may not be around more than a season. There are no guarantees

Stop with the cowbell for the love of god. Hockey now is an inside sport; it’s not the Olympic Bobsled.

Don't coach from the stands.

Don't buy your 10 year old kid a $250 stick

Town teams, when you go to a tournament try to have matching sweaters & socks...otherwise you look like a group of dusty benders....oh, never mind.

After a game the only time it is OK to speak to a ref is to hand him an extra puck you’ve found at the rink or you are going to tell him he “did a good job” refing the game.

Don't show your kid that "magic" helmet video, unless he's trying out for "Glee".

Don't put those personalized white stickers on the back window of your SUV. No one cares if your bender plays hockey, sister Suzie "cheers," or Siobhán is an Irish Step Dancer.

Don't believe politics end at the high school level. They get worse.

Don't wear a "team" jacket unless you are the coach.

Don't try to discuss anything with a hockey-mom who has any clothing with her kids name on it.

Don’t ever believe a team owner, manager or coach when they tell you your kid is “all set” for next season and is on the team until the contract is signed.