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Re: article from Sun Globe - local player

Anon
Anon
Anon
Anon
Anon
Anon
The article, while shocking and appalling, should not really be news to parents. Hopefully, everyone is having conversations with their kids starting at a very young age about coming forward if anyone ever approaches them in any way. It isn't a hockey-related story.


It most certainly is a hockey story. This guy was wired in from youth programs to Hockey East. He was able to put talented kids through the pipeline which is why the boy in the story was placed under his supervision in the first place. Reading this article there should have been multiple red flags that this guy should not have been around children. Showering with his players? That would have been a deal breaker for having my kid anywhere near him. Fact is because he was connected kids and parents were too afraid to say anything. Hell, there are still people associated with the game who speak on his behalf. This is an absolute lesson on being careful how much you're willing to sacrifice your child's well-being to achieve advancement in the world of youth sports. An incredibly sad story.
I say it isn't a hockey story is because it could be any sport. Or school. Or organization.

The risk is universal. How he has "wired" himself to be in control of children is largely irrelevant.


I think it really is both for sure. Although I am all about innocent until proven guilty and I do admire loyal people, how anybody could support this coach after what has been stated on record is beyond me. Nevermind the charges, showering with children? WTF! Come on, cut bait and spread bait coaches.


This is one of those situations, and they are much more common than you think, that sheds some positive light on daddy coaches. Those coaches are there for their kids, and there is a downside to that... But there should always be some trepidation when hockey guys that have no kids on the team are wanting to coach. That is not a blanket statement, but something to be considered.

And while the showering thing seems to appall a few here, that is not an uncommon thing if you play as you get a bit older and at higher levels. Not uncommon for coaches to shower with players at the midget and junior levels, albeit it is not as common as it used to be.

I am not downplaying the incident at all, in fact i know the circumstances surrounding a former local coach known and accused of this stuff pretty well. Everyone knew it from the time we were pee wees and right through juniors that something wasn't quite right. One absolute you stated is to pay attention, because the parents who didn't see it coming and were leaving the kids alone with him or allowed to billet with him, were the ones most affected.
Most ridiculous post ever. To say that any coach without a kid on the team is suspect is just utterly ignorant, stupid, or both.

And, no coach should be showering with players, ever, at any age. Coaches aren't players. They need to maintain separation.

Next you're going to say it's OK for the coach to buy beer and drink with the U18 kids in the locker room.


Ok, lets think rationally for a second here.

Is it OK for the coach to be in the locker rooms when the get dressed/undressed ?

Is it ok to have a coach in the locker room when the kids get older and sit in the locker room naked before/after showers ?

So if that is an okay environment but the same environment in a group in a shower is not that far off, but there is a definitive line of demarcation between that and a kid sleeping over a coaches house.

Anyone who played this game at any level probably had no issue with a coach seeing them in the locker room in a state of undress or in the shower, but also had a bigger issue riding alone in a car to a game with that same coach.

My concern is when it becomes private time/personal or alone time between a player and coach. That is when things go bad. Not in the team settings on locker rooms where there are too many people.

Re: article from Sun Globe - local player

Anon
Ok, lets think rationally for a second here.

Is it OK for the coach to be in the locker rooms when the get dressed/undressed ?

Is it ok to have a coach in the locker room when the kids get older and sit in the locker room naked before/after showers ?

So if that is an okay environment but the same environment in a group in a shower is not that far off, but there is a definitive line of demarcation between that and a kid sleeping over a coaches house.

Anyone who played this game at any level probably had no issue with a coach seeing them in the locker room in a state of undress or in the shower, but also had a bigger issue riding alone in a car to a game with that same coach.

My concern is when it becomes private time/personal or alone time between a player and coach. That is when things go bad. Not in the team settings on locker rooms where there are too many people.
You're starting to creep me out a bit.

So, let's take your analogy one step further. At the professional level, female reporters see the athletes in the same "state of undress." Should they shower with the athletes, too? I mean, isn't it exactly the same "rational" leap?

A HS, college or Juniors coach may see an athlete in passing. That doesn't mean he should sit down and chat naked athletes up.

A HS, college or Juniors coach that makes it a habit of hanging around naked players and being naked himself in front of his team A) is crossing the boundary of acceptable adult behavior, and is therefore walking into trouble, and B) is undermining his own credibility. He is still an authority figure in the team hierarchy and should maintain a certain "separateness." He is NOT "one of the boys" and should act accordingly.

Sounds like whoever served as your role model here had some growing up to do.

Re: article from Sun Globe - local player

Anon
Anon
Ok, lets think rationally for a second here.

Is it OK for the coach to be in the locker rooms when the get dressed/undressed ?

Is it ok to have a coach in the locker room when the kids get older and sit in the locker room naked before/after showers ?

So if that is an okay environment but the same environment in a group in a shower is not that far off, but there is a definitive line of demarcation between that and a kid sleeping over a coaches house.

Anyone who played this game at any level probably had no issue with a coach seeing them in the locker room in a state of undress or in the shower, but also had a bigger issue riding alone in a car to a game with that same coach.

My concern is when it becomes private time/personal or alone time between a player and coach. That is when things go bad. Not in the team settings on locker rooms where there are too many people.
You're starting to creep me out a bit.

So, let's take your analogy one step further. At the professional level, female reporters see the athletes in the same "state of undress." Should they shower with the athletes, too? I mean, isn't it exactly the same "rational" leap?

A HS, college or Juniors coach may see an athlete in passing. That doesn't mean he should sit down and chat naked athletes up.

A HS, college or Juniors coach that makes it a habit of hanging around naked players and being naked himself in front of his team A) is crossing the boundary of acceptable adult behavior, and is therefore walking into trouble, and B) is undermining his own credibility. He is still an authority figure in the team hierarchy and should maintain a certain "separateness." He is NOT "one of the boys" and should act accordingly.

Sounds like whoever served as your role model here had some growing up to do.


let's not make this more perverse than it needs to be. What I am saying is that to lots and lots of older players it is not a big deal to have the coach be involved in those semi public or team settings, but they know it is creepy when it gets taken a step further, like the sleepovers and car rides and sharing of hotel rooms.

Do some research on this...all the stories are the same. Kids liked the coach, he was great to the team, but they were always weary of being alone with him or accepting carpool or invites to their homes or rooms during road trips, they were never concerned of him doing anything in a locker room or shower because their teammates were present.

Every coach taking the SafeSport program for the certification may not be aware of why that program started. To the people who were familiar with that local coach, they know far to well.

I do completely agree with this; He is still an authority figure in the team hierarchy and should maintain a certain "separateness." He is NOT "one of the boys" and should act accordingly.

but, the world of junior hockey is a very very weird place. Just be wary of that if your kid goes that route that's all.

Re: article from Sun Globe - local player

I say it isn't a hockey story is because it could be any sport. Or school. Or organization.

The risk is universal. How he has "wired" himself to be in control of children is largely irrelevant.


Sure, it could have been any sport, school or organization. But this article is about a hockey player and a coach. So it's a hockey story.

Re: article from Sun Globe - local player

My only question is: Where was Cap A and her Ghostbusters "It's All About the Kids" car when all of this was going on?

Maybe that's why she vacated the DBoard... Makes sense. As big of a conspiracy theory as the whole 'Deflategate the Patriots Were Innocent' Tin Hat wearing weirdos.

Re: article from Sun Globe - local player



The OP wrote "This has to be one of the worst things I've ever read in hockey"

I guess the OP never read Cap's Philosophical Thoughts on the old DBoard.

Re: article from Sun Globe - local player

Anonymous


The OP wrote "This has to be one of the worst things I've ever read in hockey"

I guess the OP never read Cap's Philosophical Thoughts on the old DBoard.



You got that right! Good work.

Re: article from Sun Globe - local player

Bee Keeper
My only question is: Where was Cap A and her Ghostbusters "It's All About the Kids" car when all of this was going on?

Maybe that's why she vacated the DBoard... Makes sense. As big of a conspiracy theory as the whole 'Deflategate the Patriots Were Innocent' Tin Hat wearing weirdos.



I am sure it will all be explained when Cap A publishes her book.