So which one are you? Be honest with yourself :grinning:
1. Socialite - sits in stands distracting all other parents and barely watches the game because your too chatty
2. Focused - stands with other parents but borderline rude because your not paying attention to the Socialites
3. Analyst - stands with others and breaks down every play for parents around you, often referencing your playing days
4. Commentator - in the stands with parents and openly makes negative comments about all players but their own
5. Intense Commentator - alone muttering to self about players, coach, refs, trying to hide psychoness from others
6. Screamer - non-stop loses mind screaming at ever little thing (trip!, head shot!, shoot!, skate!)
7. Glass Banger - stands in the corner with buddies and bangs on glass on every play - their kid is always the victim
8. Corner Psycho - alone away from all, intensely pacing every time their kid on ice, switches ends each period
9. Mid-Ice Glass - stands directly across from bench at mid ice, watching coach's every move, counting shifts and TOI
10. Normal Corner - quietly watches game away from all above, other end from Corner Psycho
Did you REALLY sit down and type this up? I see the same grammatical mistakes throughout, so I'm going to assume you did.
Dude, you need a hobby. And therapy.
I bet the OP fits well into category #5 of 10. But this is old news. 5 types of hockey parents was way better, posted last year. try to keep up and keep writing those checks!
OP here. Sorry I struck a nerve with some of you. Clearly you’re still trying to figure out which one you are. You’re definitely one of them, just which one. Lighten up Francis!
It was totally funny. I was at a town playdown game last night and found myself making a mental list of the different patent types. OP nailed it, saw 4 of the 10 types in action. It was actually funny
I showed this to 20 people today and all laughed hysterically as they cited themselves, me and other parents they have known throughout the years. If you did not find it funny you’re a complete tool. If you took offense to it then you are one of the 10 on steroids. You need to lighten up and take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Go enjoy your kids games. Don’t take them to serious or yourself.
There might be an additional type. I'd call it an Intense analyst, the one that not only analyzes the game for everyone, he also keeps track of all the games that might be happening at the time and provides advanced analytics to the season overall, knows every player on every team and their projected potential at a D1/pro level 10 years from now.
Another one would be the "Jimmy the Greek" parent - the guy who always knows everything about the next opponent - who they beat, common opponents and scores, league placement, etc.
As for the corner glass watchers, most get a bad rap but I tend to stand here simply to get away from the yellers and s--t talkers in the stands. As well as parents from the other team.
11. Slow burn / time bomb - A normal corner guy who watches away from everyone who will, once or twice a season, explode, yelling profanity but slip quickly back into his normal corner guy mode.
12. The Islander - Inhabitants of Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket who occasionally come "off island" to play in a tournament. Because of alcohol poisoning, they can't grasp the concept that most girl town programs only have one team per age bracket. They immediately cry foul when they play against other town programs who happen to have a couple "select" girls mixed in. They are hopeful the whaling industry makes a comeback and are asking Santa for a new scallop rake.