Ice Hockey DBoard

The Official New England Ice Hockey DBoard 

Visit The DBoard Online Store - https://www.cafepress.com/icehockeydboard

Click Here to Visit Our Facebook Page

email: icehockeydboard@yahoo.com

Youth Hockey
Start a New Topic 
Author
Comment
10 Types of Hockey Parents

So which one are you? Be honest with yourself :grinning:


1. Socialite - sits in stands distracting all other parents and barely watches the game because your too chatty

2. Focused - stands with other parents but borderline rude because your not paying attention to the Socialites

3. Analyst - stands with others and breaks down every play for parents around you, often referencing your playing days

4. Commentator - in the stands with parents and openly makes negative comments about all players but their own

5. Intense Commentator - alone muttering to self about players, coach, refs, trying to hide psychoness from others

6. Screamer - non-stop loses mind screaming at ever little thing (trip!, head shot!, shoot!, skate!)

7. Glass Banger - stands in the corner with buddies and bangs on glass on every play - their kid is always the victim

8. Corner Psycho - alone away from all, intensely pacing every time their kid on ice, switches ends each period

9. Mid-Ice Glass - stands directly across from bench at mid ice, watching coach's every move, counting shifts and TOI

10. Normal Corner - quietly watches game away from all above, other end from Corner Psycho

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
So which one are you? Be honest with yourself :grinning:


1. Socialite - sits in stands distracting all other parents and barely watches the game because your too chatty

2. Focused - stands with other parents but borderline rude because your not paying attention to the Socialites

3. Analyst - stands with others and breaks down every play for parents around you, often referencing your playing days

4. Commentator - in the stands with parents and openly makes negative comments about all players but their own

5. Intense Commentator - alone muttering to self about players, coach, refs, trying to hide psychoness from others

6. Screamer - non-stop loses mind screaming at ever little thing (trip!, head shot!, shoot!, skate!)

7. Glass Banger - stands in the corner with buddies and bangs on glass on every play - their kid is always the victim

8. Corner Psycho - alone away from all, intensely pacing every time their kid on ice, switches ends each period

9. Mid-Ice Glass - stands directly across from bench at mid ice, watching coach\\\'s every move, counting shifts and TOI

10. Normal Corner - quietly watches game away from all above, other end from Corner Psycho
Many of those you listed are also what we call "Live Barners". Watch Live Barn game play to count ice minutes of "Johnny" who has lost his glory days of Mite A.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Did you REALLY sit down and type this up? I see the same grammatical mistakes throughout, so I'm going to assume you did.

Dude, you need a hobby. And therapy.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
Did you REALLY sit down and type this up? I see the same grammatical mistakes throughout, so I'm going to assume you did.

Dude, you need a hobby. And therapy.
Its called humor you moron. Try and have a little fun in your life and stop being such REALLY big dumb ass.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

I bet the OP fits well into category #5 of 10. But this is old news. 5 types of hockey parents was way better, posted last year. try to keep up and keep writing those checks!


http://pub32.bravenet.com/forum/static/show.php?usernum=2739773068&frmid=9935&msgid=1094199&cmd=show

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

anon
Anon
Did you REALLY sit down and type this up? I see the same grammatical mistakes throughout, so I\'m going to assume you did.

Dude, you need a hobby. And therapy.
Its called humor you moron. Try and have a little fun in your life and stop being such REALLY big dumb ass.
It would be called humor if it were funny. It isn't. Which is why I found it surprising you spent that much time thinking it out.

Upon reflection, maybe you should have spent MORE time on it so it WAS funny.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

OP here. Sorry I struck a nerve with some of you. Clearly you’re still trying to figure out which one you are. You’re definitely one of them, just which one. Lighten up Francis!

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
OP here. Sorry I struck a nerve with some of you. Clearly you’re still trying to figure out which one you are. You’re definitely one of them, just which one. Lighten up Francis!
It. Wasn't. Funny. Think lead balloon. Epic fail. Dud. How else can it be said?

Nice try. Not.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

It was totally funny. I was at a town playdown game last night and found myself making a mental list of the different patent types. OP nailed it, saw 4 of the 10 types in action. It was actually funny

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
It was totally funny. I was at a town playdown game last night and found myself making a mental list of the different patent types. OP nailed it, saw 4 of the 10 types in action. It was actually funny
What type are you, genius?

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

anon
Anon
It was totally funny. I was at a town playdown game last night and found myself making a mental list of the different patent types. OP nailed it, saw 4 of the 10 types in action. It was actually funny
What type are you, genius?
The type that responds to his own posts.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

I showed this to 20 people today and all laughed hysterically as they cited themselves, me and other parents they have known throughout the years. If you did not find it funny you’re a complete tool. If you took offense to it then you are one of the 10 on steroids. You need to lighten up and take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Go enjoy your kids games. Don’t take them to serious or yourself.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
I showed this to 20 people today and all laughed hysterically as they cited themselves, me and other parents they have known throughout the years. If you did not find it funny you’re a complete tool. If you took offense to it then you are one of the 10 on steroids. You need to lighten up and take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Go enjoy your kids games. Don’t take them to serious or yourself.
Dude, you're trying WAY too hard. You're like, desperate.

Get a dog, it'll like you no matter what.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
Anon
I showed this to 20 people today and all laughed hysterically as they cited themselves, me and other parents they have known throughout the years. If you did not find it funny you’re a complete tool. If you took offense to it then you are one of the 10 on steroids. You need to lighten up and take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Go enjoy your kids games. Don’t take them to serious or yourself.
Dude, you're trying WAY too hard. You're like, desperate.

Get a dog, it'll like you no matter what.
I'm with this guy. The other post linked above was funnier. The previous poster is trying too hard to recover from his unoriginal and humorless post.

And for good measure you should add the guy who runs around the rink asking people if they've read the latest post on the dboard.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
Anon
Anon
I showed this to 20 people today and all laughed hysterically as they cited themselves, me and other parents they have known throughout the years. If you did not find it funny you’re a complete tool. If you took offense to it then you are one of the 10 on steroids. You need to lighten up and take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Go enjoy your kids games. Don’t take them to serious or yourself.
Dude, you're trying WAY too hard. You're like, desperate.

Get a dog, it'll like you no matter what.
I'm with this guy. The other post linked above was funnier. The previous poster is trying too hard to recover from his unoriginal and humorless post.

And for good measure you should add the guy who runs around the rink asking people if they've read the latest post on the dboard.
Haha, I've got this mental image of a short middle aged balding guy with his team jacket on, awkwardly breaking into a dozen conversations, handing people a piece of paper, and asking them to read it.

If the dude came up to me I would definitely avoid him from that point forward.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

anon
Anon
OP here. Sorry I struck a nerve with some of you. Clearly you’re still trying to figure out which one you are. You’re definitely one of them, just which one. Lighten up Francis!
It. Wasn't. Funny. Think lead balloon. Epic fail. Dud. How else can it be said?

Nice try. Not.
^^^Who brought Negative Nancy to the party? Talk about a turd in the punch bowl. You must be a delight -- probably explains why no one likes to sit with you at hockey games.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
anon
Anon
OP here. Sorry I struck a nerve with some of you. Clearly you’re still trying to figure out which one you are. You’re definitely one of them, just which one. Lighten up Francis!
It. Wasn't. Funny. Think lead balloon. Epic fail. Dud. How else can it be said?

Nice try. Not.
^^^Who brought Negative Nancy to the party? Talk about a turd in the punch bowl. You must be a delight -- probably explains why no one likes to sit with you at hockey games.
Is he a 5,8 or 9?

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
Anon
anon
Anon
OP here. Sorry I struck a nerve with some of you. Clearly you’re still trying to figure out which one you are. You’re definitely one of them, just which one. Lighten up Francis!
It. Wasn\'t. Funny. Think lead balloon. Epic fail. Dud. How else can it be said?

Nice try. Not.
^^^Who brought Negative Nancy to the party? Talk about a turd in the punch bowl. You must be a delight -- probably explains why no one likes to sit with you at hockey games.
Is he a 5,8 or 9?
All of the above. Just someone you stay away from...quick nod hello and move past.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

There might be an additional type. I'd call it an Intense analyst, the one that not only analyzes the game for everyone, he also keeps track of all the games that might be happening at the time and provides advanced analytics to the season overall, knows every player on every team and their projected potential at a D1/pro level 10 years from now.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Another one would be the "Jimmy the Greek" parent - the guy who always knows everything about the next opponent - who they beat, common opponents and scores, league placement, etc.

As for the corner glass watchers, most get a bad rap but I tend to stand here simply to get away from the yellers and s--t talkers in the stands. As well as parents from the other team.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

11. Slow burn / time bomb - A normal corner guy who watches away from everyone who will, once or twice a season, explode, yelling profanity but slip quickly back into his normal corner guy mode.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

LOL

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

12. The Islander - Inhabitants of Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket who occasionally come "off island" to play in a tournament. Because of alcohol poisoning, they can't grasp the concept that most girl town programs only have one team per age bracket. They immediately cry foul when they play against other town programs who happen to have a couple "select" girls mixed in. They are hopeful the whaling industry makes a comeback and are asking Santa for a new scallop rake.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
12. The Islander - Inhabitants of Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket who occasionally come "off island" to play in a tournament. Because of alcohol poisoning, they can't grasp the concept that most girl town programs only have one team per age bracket. They immediately cry foul when they play against other town programs who happen to have a couple "select" girls mixed in. They are hopeful the whaling industry makes a comeback and are asking Santa for a new scallop rake.
How about the assistant coach dad whose kid is one of the bottom players, yet decides to tell the HC how to run the team so as to benefit his bender of a kid? (you know who you are SS peeps) What's their category? Rose colored wearing glasses dad?

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

EHFFLAMER4LIFE
Anon
12. The Islander - Inhabitants of Martha\'s Vineyard or Nantucket who occasionally come \"off island\" to play in a tournament. Because of alcohol poisoning, they can\'t grasp the concept that most girl town programs only have one team per age bracket. They immediately cry foul when they play against other town programs who happen to have a couple \"select\" girls mixed in. They are hopeful the whaling industry makes a comeback and are asking Santa for a new scallop rake.
How about the assistant coach dad whose kid is one of the bottom players, yet decides to tell the HC how to run the team so as to benefit his bender of a kid? (you know who you are SS peeps) What's their category? Rose colored wearing glasses dad?
Nobody is going to take a post by someone who calls themself a "Flamer" seriously.

Re: 10 Types of Hockey Parents

Anon
So which one are you? Be honest with yourself :grinning:


1. Socialite - sits in stands distracting all other parents and barely watches the game because your too chatty

2. Focused - stands with other parents but borderline rude because your not paying attention to the Socialites

3. Analyst - stands with others and breaks down every play for parents around you, often referencing your playing days

4. Commentator - in the stands with parents and openly makes negative comments about all players but their own

5. Intense Commentator - alone muttering to self about players, coach, refs, trying to hide psychoness from others

6. Screamer - non-stop loses mind screaming at ever little thing (trip!, head shot!, shoot!, skate!)

7. Glass Banger - stands in the corner with buddies and bangs on glass on every play - their kid is always the victim

8. Corner Psycho - alone away from all, intensely pacing every time their kid on ice, switches ends each period

9. Mid-Ice Glass - stands directly across from bench at mid ice, watching coach\'s every move, counting shifts and TOI

10. Normal Corner - quietly watches game away from all above, other end from Corner Psycho
A few more types are:

The Knob Polisher - the dad who meets coach in parking lot before each game and polishes his knob.
CheckMate - Coaches side kick at away games and tourneys who always picks up coaches check.
The Mole - the mom / dad who act as a double agent and go undercover around parents and their conversations and report
back to the coach.
The Party Parent - the mom / dad who throw team parties all the time but their lil johnny shouldn't be on team yet they throw a good party a few times per month and are kept around.