The Official New England Ice Hockey DBoard
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As an elite parent of kids with elite dna, I have become accustomed to certain perks and privileges. For example, private team only locker rooms and entrances so junior doesn’t have to drag bags in with the likes the common children. Early contracts and free tuition make tryouts a breeze. And individualized private lessons keep the skills honed.
As other elite parents will attest to, single malt is the only thing that gets served in the lot after wins. Double reinforced yoga pants keeps the moms bums just a little bit tighter a little bit longer. And our imminent admission into the best preps schools in the state undoubtedly will protect and only continue our elite lineage for generations to come.
My question is this? Why should the elite have to deal with unelite riff-raf threads on the dboard. I feel like elite parents deserve their own elite section on the dboard and it’s been a long time coming.
That way, I don’t waste my elite time having to hear about unelite things. Like tryouts (poor suckers) or any mention of a team with a precious metal or direction after their name. Anything about arm pit places like Hartford or Springfield. No need to waste my time on anyone talking about a league that has a number or “L” at the end. Any mention in of mass skills sessions. Or summer teams not invited to the q.
Honestly, the dboard is the only place I am forced to interact with the masses of regular peons and I for one have had it up to here. Elite parents need a place for elite talk.
Let’s go dboard admin, cater to your core crowd and open an elite dboard section for me and my privileged brethren. Individuals should be required to have an ehf elite contract to post. If your kid gets cut then so do you. Anything less is uncivilized. Make it happen now before I am contaminated any further.
You realize your wife and kids all hate you right? And the only reason your kid is on an Elite team is the fact that the coach is doing his best 08 Huskies coach impersonation, with your wife.
Because they'd have to make an additional one for the self-help group of Elite parents who got cut and there's not enough virtual tissue paper for the likes of you out there. Your catastrophic fall from grace and the fact that your bender doesn't even care will drive you to double think your single malt habits. That and the shame of getting cut and the looks on the real elite families as they look down upon you is too much for this site to handle. It's ok, you'll learn.
I think it should be broken down further to "Super Elite", "think they are Elite" and "wish they were Elite."
So, for example, say my off spring plays on MFR or LA Jr Kings in the 08's, another words, top 3 in MHR, then we can play/post in the Super Elite category. (I will finally be rid of you wannabes!)
Then, you have teams that think they are Elite, like teams below the top 2 or 3. They can post in the "think they are Elite" section.
Everyone else below 25 in MHR can post in the Wish they were Elite category.
My non binary player is not very skilled on the ice. However, my player identifies with being elite. It's how you feel inside that makes you identify as elite.
I think the elite hoop team they imported to your wife’s elite prep school certainly would give her the classification of “Elite”
My D is super elite.
You’re spelling it wrong, it should E-lite...as in Exclusively lite perception, Extraordinarily lite aptitude, Eminently lite self awareness, Expressly lite skills, Especially lite ability, Exceedingly lite character and Extremely lite intelligence.
^The best post of all time