Thanks for the advice. I do still drink , but only wine ... a glass a night. See, the problem was that he wouldnt let me drink so I had to sneak it, and sometimes I would drink alot cuz I knew he would find out anyway. i drank to numb the feelings I had. i never REALLY loved him. He just always said he wasnt as bad as I made him out to be. But he was even worse sometimes. i dont get drunk anymore cuz he lets me have my wine. He also smokes pot daily which I dont but he says its ok cuz hes been doing it for years. But u know something, hes only nice to me when hes "high". Go figure.