cr is u?? well ok then..
I might have assumed wrong but here is my opinion. It sounds to me that there is a chance that you and your husband are trying to work things out. If that is true, then go to counseling, try and see if you can work things out.
A friend of mine's husband cheated (while she was pregnant with their second child), they separated for a year (lived in different homes) .. but they got back together because of money and also i believe they really truly love each other.
They are still together and although they have some difficulties, they are getting thru it.
I remember them arguing and she went off on how he cheated on her... I told her if she couldnt deal with the fact that he cheated, then leave, but that their marriage will never survive if she kept bringing up every time. That if she really forgave him for it and he was trying, then she needed to let it go. Things are a bit better now.
Now my husband cheated, and i told him i would forgive him if he stopped seeing her, got some help and worked on the marriage. he refused, and honestly, i dont think she was the main reason, she was just an added perk. I knew that if he accepted, i would have had to take my own advice and let it go. I dont know if i could have. It seems we will bring up the cheating when they have something to say about us. I guess that is a normal reaction for everyone. Just like children. We say "well you did this" when someone is accusing us of something. I dont know how to fix it. But if the love is still there between the two of you and you are both willing to try to make it work.. then by all means give yourselves the chance. If it doesnt work, you can at least say you tried your best to save the marriage. Good luck to you.
Yes we are trying. I agree with throwing the cheating at him when we argue. I do not do it a lot or as much as I use to.
It is hard to get away from the past. If I/we love each other enough then we will work it out I guess. I just wish it wasn't part of my life, my families life and history it just sucks!
Cindy,
Its not easy, but like I said, my friend and her husband are doing it. They have their problems, but you know what? I hear them tell each other they love each other all the time, whether it was a phone call to ask what to pick up for dinner or whatever, it seems they always say it. Maybe words aren't enough, but at least they are trying. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.