Welcome to the forum. I'm new as well and have really enjoyed going back and reading some of the previous posts. It really helps to know you're not alone. And, yes, it does sound like all men are the same. On that note...a very good friend confided in me the other day that her brother is getting a divorce, he has had an affair, and he's gay. Then she added...he's always been like the perfect husband and father-I should have guessed he wasn't a "real" man.

Don't feel bad about having awful thought about your ex. It's normal. There are days I pray his harness is faulty when he climbs the turbine..or that on his way home his brakes go out. Heck just a few days ago there was a tornado warning where he lives...I swear my knees are bruised from praying it would hit.....
It's because they act like such jerks that make us feel that way. I remember praying that he would be okay when he was over seas, hoping that God would place his hand over him...now I wish I would have let him kill himself, life would be much more peaceful.

OH YEAH! I'VE HAD THOSE THOUGHTS FLOAT THROUGH MY HEAD TOO...BUT REMEMBER YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT...I AM A FIRM BELIEVER IN KARMA...HE HAD BEEN TREATING ME HORRIBLY SINCE FEBRUARY, NOT SPENDING ANY TIME WITH ME, NO INTIMACY, ETC AND I WAS TO TRUSTING TO BELIEVE HE WAS DEVELOPING ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP...AFTER 16 YEARS TOGETHER ON LABOR DAY HE TOLD ME HE WANTED A DIVORCE, 3 DAYS LATER TOLD ME ABOUT HIS SPECIAL FRIEND, YEAH, I HAVE EVIL THOUGHTS SOMETIMES BUT I TRY TO REMEMBER THAT I HAVE BETTER VALUES, DESERVE BETTER, AND WILL SOMEDAY GET PAST THIS UP AND DOWN GRIEVING, ANGER AND FRUSTRATION... AND I PRAY ALOT, EVEN THOUGH I'D NEVER BEEN VERY RELIGIOUS GOD IS HELPING ME GET THROUGH THIS!!! HANG IN THERE!!