Don't feel bad about having awful thought about your ex. It's normal. There are days I pray his harness is faulty when he climbs the turbine..or that on his way home his brakes go out. Heck just a few days ago there was a tornado warning where he lives...I swear my knees are bruised from praying it would hit.....
It's because they act like such jerks that make us feel that way. I remember praying that he would be okay when he was over seas, hoping that God would place his hand over him...now I wish I would have let him kill himself, life would be much more peaceful.

OH YEAH! I'VE HAD THOSE THOUGHTS FLOAT THROUGH MY HEAD TOO...BUT REMEMBER YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT...I AM A FIRM BELIEVER IN KARMA...HE HAD BEEN TREATING ME HORRIBLY SINCE FEBRUARY, NOT SPENDING ANY TIME WITH ME, NO INTIMACY, ETC AND I WAS TO TRUSTING TO BELIEVE HE WAS DEVELOPING ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP...AFTER 16 YEARS TOGETHER ON LABOR DAY HE TOLD ME HE WANTED A DIVORCE, 3 DAYS LATER TOLD ME ABOUT HIS SPECIAL FRIEND, YEAH, I HAVE EVIL THOUGHTS SOMETIMES BUT I TRY TO REMEMBER THAT I HAVE BETTER VALUES, DESERVE BETTER, AND WILL SOMEDAY GET PAST THIS UP AND DOWN GRIEVING, ANGER AND FRUSTRATION... AND I PRAY ALOT, EVEN THOUGH I'D NEVER BEEN VERY RELIGIOUS GOD IS HELPING ME GET THROUGH THIS!!! HANG IN THERE!!