my kids are 26, 19, and 13. They know what their dad did and my oldest even called the poloce twice on her dad because she was afraid that he was going to kill me. So many threats. i have moved out and now I find out that he is calling. My oldest said t hat she want me to be happy and also her dad. the kid are not hurting because they know what I when through. They are actually happy that I am out but want me to make my own decision on if I want to divorce or not. not based on what they say.Our oldest is finish with two degress and living on her own, out 19 year old is in college in washington and I have our 13 year old. There is an order of protection for me and my 13 year old, so for six months we are safe. Within the six months I must make up my mind on if I want a divorce or what. I really want to buy a house put credit is a problem. Do you know of a good broker that can help?

I am still in our marital home, but will be losing that. My stbx has destroyed my credit. One of my biggest stresses is housing. So, I, too, am trying to figure out options. No way I'll be able to borrow a penny...

Sorry to hear! what about family, can they help? I am blessed that my family is a great support for me but they can not keep it up for long for they have their lives to live.

Yes, I have a great support system. Unfortunately, none of them have much money! LOL! You're right, we feel like we can only "dump" on them so much.

As to what to do, what I have read is that it is common to have to file bankruptcy post divorce, this is from housing & credit counseling website, in who files divorce section. Of course people don't talk about it, for obvious reasons, but it is NOT UNCOMMON to have to do so if need be. I most certainly don't advocate it, however if you are not able to make ends meet, soon to be ex/ bum type husband ie, that won't pay a penny, & you have little other choice, I do beleive one usually can keep their home.
OF COURSE it's a horrible option & even filing costs $, but it IS an option at times one can consider.
It wipes slate clean as to debt, & also relieves the stress of having to continually go to court if the spouse that one divorces is irresponsible & doesn't intend to help out.
I cannot believe how many people told me this when I went through my divorce & I found out, these ARE facts & sometimes a person's only real option.
May be something to consider...

Bankruptcy is an option I am giving serious consideration to. I have an appointment with my attorney next week. I have NEVER missed a payment in my life-until now. It is scary and frustrating, not to mention embarassing. But I can only control what I can control, and this is something I have lost control of.

Becky, I just searched, "having to file bankruptcy after divorce." I am not sure about posting links here, but if you google that, there's one link that it's almost inevitable that bankruptcy goes hand in hand many times in divorce. I am quite shocked & it's very humbling, to learn what I have in the divorce. Also, my ex didn't pay on his part of the debt. I think one does what they have to, after weighing all options.
God Knows All & The Truth in what we are going through.

Hey, MovingOn, thanks for the information-and support.

Becky, you're welcome. Something I'm finding through this divorce & in life, is making sure to take one day at a time & not project too far ahead. There are things that I have to deal with that are just more than I am able to almost think about, but if I just set the smaller goals & leave some to later on, helps. There are issues that resolve themselves, some I am able to actually deal with without any trouble whereas maybe a month earlier I would not have, etc. It all works out for HIS GLORY in the end.
Some days I need a really big telescope, others I can just open my eyes.. (to see The Glory).
at least Heaven there will be, "no more pain or sorrow."