One day at a time...some days...one moment at a time. Also...pray, pray, pray for strength and courage to stand tall and believe in yourself. I too am a cancer survivor and my husband had also been verbally abusive, emotionally controlling and manipulative. I actually filed for divorce a year ago, after 20 years of begging to go to counseling. It was only AFTER I filed, that he "deemed" it necessary to go to counseling. I reluctantly agreed for the kids sake, but quite honestly, I was already done. My dilema comes because something inside me shut down a few weeks before I filed for divorce. Although my husband has shown change and improvement, I get paniced when I try to let my guard down. I now feel guilty for still wanting a divorce, but I just don't see myself being happy with him. I've done some major processing and am no longer angry at him...I just don't love or respect him any longer. How can you even have the will to work on something that you cannot invision?

Anyways...I can totally relate to your situation. Stand strong! You are worth EVERYTHING!

Ladies,thanks so much for the words of encouragement I really need to know that I am not the only one feeling the way that I do. This morning is a good day! I feel strong and have a positive outlook but later the feeling s will change and that's when i don't know if I am doing the right thing by seeking a divorce. My children said they will respect any decision that I make because they want me happy. I know that I will not lose my children's love because they seen what happen throughout the years.
Lord help me and guide me to make the right decision and let me finally be happy. I have invited god into my life a long time ago and he has never let me down but sometimes I get a little scared.

Hi. am just browsing through to se anything for my own problems...one thing on the male species--They are NOT emotional! Thats why they can do this so easily, and then twist it to be that YOU are the on eat fault. At least you recognized the reality--Im still i denial, esp. when confronted and he lies to my face. Be strong-keep yur emotions in check-find things to keep the mind occupied, and hopefully the time goes quickly. Mary

I'm struggling also with how to move on.
There are so many things to do as to paperwork & dealing with the necessities post divorce. However, I am caught in trying to figure out if it is ok to date or not, interpretation of Matthew as to divorce & remarriage. My ex cheated on me, he wanted the divorce.
I've read so much in regards to this & there are many opinions & seeming interpretations as to scripture.
My only sure conclusion at present is, "God Hates Divorce," & it seems from our posts, there is a reason for it. It's not the natural order of things.

I am praying for you, poster, & all of us!