I told my husband I was leaving him May 2009. I moved out a month later. He was there the day I left. I told him I had to go away for a while to clear my head. Having him there every day was to much stress for me. I asked him to care for my furbabies because I couldn't take them to my brothers house. He knew I was going to my brother's. He did not know where my brother lived, he had just moved and my ex never went to his house. IDIOT that's what a GPS is for.
He harassed me by phone and email. My brother had to change his home number because he called all hours of the day and night. I got a letter from his attorney saying that I had to be in court on Aug 14, 2009 at 10 am. I had no lawyer, no idea what was going on. I got an attorney and found out my ex filed for custody and filed for Special Relief and "Writ of Ne Exeat" I had to move back by August 17 2009. Because he cried to the judge he had NO IDEA where I was. I guess he forget that he was there the day I left, that he called my brother and talked to me and the kids, that his attorney had an address to send me the papers?
Oh and as for my furbabies....he got rid of my precious pit Leroy Brown because his gf had a dog and Leroy didn't like him. He didn't call my Mom who said she would come get both dogs he just gave him away. He called me on my birthday and told me my sweet Cocker BO died. He told me he got up in the morning to find him dead. He said he must have died of old age, he was 14. I had him for 12 year, I worried about him all the time and always took him to the vet for stupid things like he didn't eat all his food in 5 mins. flat like he used too, lol. I had just had my baby at the vet before I left, healthy as a horse. "22 lbs of Sheer Health" as my vet said. I was coming to get him in a week and he knew that. Well when I asked him to let my Daddy come get his body and bury him in my fav. spot at the family farm he told he he would..never called my Dad. He told my son he buried him in the yard. I never believed him about the cause of death. Neither did my son, I found him on day trying to dig up the spot where my ex told him the dog was...broke my heart. I called my Daddy asked him to come check for me. My dog was not here or anywhere else near where he said he buried him. He always hated that dog and I think he killed him. Anyhow.....
I was granted the ability to move in June 2, 2010 and was out of that house by June 7 2010. I was not staying there any longer than I had to.
I am so frustrated with the system. Here I Am trying to just live my life and he will not leave me alone. He refuses to divorce me and lives with his new gf (OW) I just want him to go away. He makes me miserable. He fights paying child support he fight time, place and every other stupid issue he can think of when it comes to our boys. He had no interest in being a good Dad he just wants to come out of this looking like the victim.
I NEVER told my boys about the threats. They have no clue their Dad is a monster. I refuse to down grade him in front of them. I have seen that ruin to many children. He how ever is more than happy to tell my kids all kinds of lies about me.
I have with in the last month got tired of it and started to tell my son just a few things...I will not risk losing my children to protect him. I am gentle in my wording but I have told my son some things. I just told him that Daddy tried to hurt himself and was in a hospital..that night he went to the hospital I told my boys he was away for work. My ex told him he was in the hospital but did not tell him why. GO figure he will give just enough info to make me look bad but refuses to tell the WHOLE truth. He knows the WHOLE truth is he was a jerk from day one and continued to be a jerk until this day.
And all wonder why I pray his harness will break while he is 350 ft in the air?!?

My counselor tells me I can't tell the kids bad things about their dad, but she also says I don't have to protect him. Kind of hard to do both. LOL The system stinks. My stbx is refusing to pay child support but it doesn't affect his visitation rights. So my housing in jeopardized because I can't pay the mortgage but he can take the kids for "his" weekends. His housing isn't jeopardized. Jerk.

Lisa,

We have pets, too. They are such an important part of the family. I'm so sorry to hear the problems you had with that. You'd think that for the kids' sake, if for no other reason, he could have taken care of the pets.

My stbx bought a dog without my knowing, but told me he'd use it to herd cattle at his parents' farm...it'd live there. A few years later his parents got a divorce and the dog ended up moving in with us. Now he has left, moved back to the farm, and guess where the dog is? He's a nice enough dog, but I have 2 others, a house cat and the kids and I each have a horse. Too many pets for an apartment! What to do...what to do...

My ex has the kids, the bank account, and the pets. If I didn't know beyond the shadow of any doubt that he loves the kids and the pets as much as I do, there would have been NO way I would have allowed either to stay with him. My daughter is "human momma" to one of the cats (the boy) and the other one (the female, LOL) has latched on to my oldest son. Probably because of all the kids, he looks and acts the most like Mama...^_^

But it makes me sad - every time I talk to my daughter on the phone, the cats hear my voice and, as she put it, "try to get to [me] through the phone"...and I can hear my Maine Coon yelling "Mama, Mama".

Funny how even the pets seem to suffer during the divorce. I miss my furbabies every day. I know where Leroy is and I know that his new owner loves him but I want to just go and grab him in the middle of the night...He protected me against my husband, I really believe if my Leroy Brown wasn't there hovering over me like an angel I would be dead. My ex was scared to death of him after that. I had never seem my sissy act like the PIT he was. I feel like my BO dying was my fault, I should have NEVER left my babies. It makes me cry, my furbabies counted on me to take care of them and i feel like I walked out on them

The pets usually do suffer. I was very very fortunate. I talked the ex into getting the boy cat, and he talked me into getting the girl cat...it took her a little while to warm up to me, but once she realized I wasn't going to *hit* her like her two previous humans did she was - and is - the sweetest thing. Her first owner had her declawed in the front - the old-fashioned, barbaric way, where the actual *knuckle* was affected. So she is like half-pawed in the front....but I have to admit it is the cutest thing in the world to watch her try to claw things like her furbrother does.

Lisa, cut yourself some slack. You did the best you could at the time with the resources you had. Who would think antoher human would be capable of being so cruel? Jerk-

I try to. It's just hard when Bo was my best friend. When I was in New York not knowing a single soul left alone for a month at a time he was the only I knew.
He knows all my secrets, sat on my lap while I cried. It hurts that my ex could be that heartless.