I have to agree with Becky, it is a hard process that I have yet to start but I know it will not be easy. I just came to my choice to end it.. but as many men do he refuses to see it as his fault and thinks I am just in a bad mood. We as women have to be strong and stand up for ourself's. Yes sharing the kids and doing Holidays here and there is not fair and will hurt a lot but it is better than living in the pain as we have with our husband. I would rather learn to get used to sharing the kids and time and schedules than learn to get used to a un happy marriage ..again and again. Every day is hard for me because I have to find the strengh to not be the victim again.. it is easier to give in and try to only fail again than to have to get back up again and say: Why do I keep doing this to myself. I am not the perfect person to give you advise but I can tell you that you made a choice to stay and look where it got you.. now you need to make the choice to leave and not be a victim again. Good luck !