Paula, you can do your own divorce if need be, go to county court site online to find out how.
Divorce is very devastating. I was writing on another thread though I am at peace with myself & my life, it has been more trauma than I have ever endured in a year's time for sure! "What doesn't kill ya, makes ya stronger.." Well seems to apply in this.
So are you planning to file the divorce or where does all of that stand?
It helps to have definition in life, meaning closure, to move ahead & that may mean not remarrying for some but just the closure helps!
praying that there is defintion for you so a new direction (forward), whatever that means for you!

I am very sorry to hear your story. Paula, now it is definitely that you are on your own. Get some help and support from your family and friends if possible and start planning your future. Try to organize the best you can and slowly, slowly if you are strong as you said, you will find the way out. I wish you all the luck.