I made an appointment for her with my therapist who specializes in adolescents but my husband balked...so the therapist suggested family therapy where he is included--so we have an appt.
I went to see a divorce attorney to see how I can legally get her to stay with me and he wasn't very encouraging...saying it would take suing for custody, and that the judges almost always let a 13-year old girl stay where she wants--if she's forced to go where she doesn't want to be, he says,many times a teenage girl will find an older boy...run away...get pregnant, etc. he said it's totally different than teenage boys. I'm not sure I agree with this--

It sounds to me like you are concerned about her safety. That is a completely different thing than just not wanting to give in to her. I still think it might be wise to seek advice from an abused women's center. Good luck. My heart aches for you.