I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Would it be possible for you to rent a small place to get away from him and start building a new life? In my seperation, I left my husband the house but he had to pay me off on 1/2 the equity and then I just rented a duplex. That turned out to be a very wise decision because 1. I couldn't afford the mtg pmt by myself 2. I couldn't have sold the house in this market anyway.
I just don't want him to be calling all of the shots. You have the right to make your own decisions. He can't not let you do anything and if he tries to, get a legal seperation prior to the divorce and start receiving child support now.
Take Care,
Tammy
I wish I could leave with the kids but if I leave we will lose the house because he cant pay the mortgage and child support and I could use any money made on the house I don't have any savings. I just have to live with him and deal with it. I use to argue alot with him but no more its not good for the kids and he is tape recording our fights and my phone conversations he tapes everything its such an invasion of privacy there is no reason for him to do this i dont drink no drugs no partys nothing bad goes on in my house. i think he is trying to make me out to be the bad person he is up to no good he is a creep I am a great mother he could never prove otherwise I took care of the kids for 13years not him if he trys anything he has a big battle on his hands. thanks everyone for the support and advice its nice to have people to tell my story to.
Hi Annie,
It sounds like an intolerable situation! Do you have enought equity in the house so that you could refinance? I'm just worried about the housing market right now, it's such a hard time to sell. Do you have family that you could live with? Things can get so crazy around this time, that I just want to make sure you and your kids are safe. If a lawyer is too expensive, you could go to a divorce mediator or try legal aid. Someone that knows all the ins and outs of this situation would be a life saver to help you navigate through the mess. I'm sorry, hang in there!
Take Care,
Tammy
No there is not enough equity in the house so the only option is to sell and the market does suck right now Ihave no family to live with it. I do have a lawyer i borrowed money from my stbx's father it shocked my husband when he found out but his dad wanted to make sure his grandchildren and I would be okay he was such a good man he just recently passed away who I miss he would always pray for us to work thing out. So I have a lawyer they want to have a 4 way conference which I already did and got nowhere but maybe this time will be different otherwise I will be in court. I will probably be stuck with him for awhile. I know things will get better once he is gone
I hope you have an attorney representing you. This guy sounds like my husband. So controlling! (My husband also did the grocery shopping)I don't know if your children are still at home? You must have a disability to get SSI so I assume can't work. Just because he doesn't want something doesn't mean it's not going to happen. This is a long term marriage. I don't know about your state but here you would most likely get spousal support for at least 10 years. Maybe longer if you are disabled. Stand up to him. Make sure you don't agree to anything that isn't set by the courts. He is actually going to be the big loser in the end. I will pray for you.