Each individual control's their own thoughts,feelings & behavior. When you react to your husband's manipulative behavior, it gives him secondary gain & the behavior most likely will continue. Don't surrender control to anyone. You cannot control other's so surrender your expectation's of how you want your husband to act. That is not realistic & will only leave you feeling frustrated! Most likely, he has acted in such a manner for a long time, so why would he all of a sudden change? Change yourself & try & stop consuming energy on someone that is no longer going to be part of your life!
Absolutely NO CONTACT. This was something I read and it has been so helpful. It will allow you to start to heal and it is the one thing that will drive him crazy.
I am (STILL) married to a pathological liar. Here's what I do. First, never believe a word he says. I really don't care what words fall out of his face, in my mind, it's all rubbish. Second, I imagine a protective bubble around me when I feel threatened. It's sort of liek a "go to your happy place" kind of thing. I imagine a forcefield, anything negative or hurtful will just bounce off of me so there you go. Third, I pray. Not specifically about HIM, but if ANYONE sends negative thoughts towards me, I ask it be returned to them 10-fold. Might be a little silly, but hey, works for me!