Dear Chris, I think we are grieving the loss of what should have been. Hopefully you will be able to co-parent your child. At four you'll have many many years to have to deal with one in other. Why are we all so blind to the huge bright red flags sticking us right in the middle of our faces when we choose these men? God knows I was certainly guilty of that! I don't want to deal with this pain of divorce. I wish I could just turn of the emotions. I have feel almost manic lately. I have very hard lows and some highs. It is like having our babies. It hurts like hel- but in the end we have given birth to something so wonderful and precious which made the pain all more than worth while. I pray that that is what will happen with the divorce and by suffering the terrible pain I will give birth to a new and wonderful life for myself. This is a learning process for me. I need to do alot of soul searching and change the behaviors I brought to the table which helped with the devastation of my marriage. I found it so hard to stand up to my husband so I allowed my anger and resentment to make me very cold and withdrawing. I just want to be happy in the end and find some peace in all of this. Bravo to all of you fighting the good fight to regain your's and your children's lives.