Dear Becky, Why is it that the mothers are usually the ones who have to make all the concessions in these divorce matter and many times these concessions take away from our children(their children as well) When my mother divorced my father he was not there for us at all. My mom told me we were her kids and she knew it was all up to her and she knew she was totally on her own. My grandfather bought us a house to live in which was a life saver for our family! Let your family know how grateful you are for everything they do for you. Offer to do something nice for your sister in return. It well make you feel better about yourself this way. My heart breaks for your son! How old is he and is he in any counseling? I have just started attending a divorce recover group and they incourage parents to bring their children who also need to recover from the divorce. Your son is seeing his father's real colors here. Your sons now doesn't feel as secure right about now. Please try and let him know you are there for him 150% and you will never abandon him. The kindest thing to do is to tell your son his father loves him very much and is gong through some ruff times. Dig deep for strength it is there in you!

Hugs to your son. This is so hard on them and it breaks my heart. My son is only 4 but he talks about things dad doesnt do for him when he is there. He's still a baby but he's already figuring his father out and it makes me furious.

I feel your pain on the legal issues with your husband too. I wish you some peace and hope that you get your issues ironed out with him so you can keep moving forward.

MY son still thinks the flea, will come around and will want to be his "dad" one day. He wants the "old dad" back, I really don't know which one is that because the flea was never there for him. Becky have you tried just letting Jerk do the work. I mean just wait until he wants the divorce, I don't know if that is a option for you.

Yes, I have sat back and let him do the work...for a year. He wrote up the first proposal right away-absolutely ridiculous. In fact my first attorney told me he ethically could not represent me if I was going to agree to that plan. He is very passive aggressive and he controls the situation by doing nothing. He will harrass me and ask me about it, threaten me about it (all without witnesses of course). I really am not in a hurry to finalize things (what will the final paper change? Not much), but with the bankruptcy I don't know that time is on my side. The longer I wait the more he thinks of to do to make me miserable. And, unfortunately, he is very good at that, and I have not yet learned how to fully control my emotions.