I hope some day I get to see my stbx squirm. Hes always been in control of everything and is sure as rain that he is going to get away with not having to give me a thing. According to my lawyer, he is in for one hell of a surprise. God I sure hope so. And as for the hatred...idk. I am not a very forgiving person. Every person that I trusted has hurt me, and when I give ppl a second chance I always seem o get burned. I am actually scared to forgive but I hope I can get over it. I will never forgive him but I have been succssful, most days now, to let it go.

I don't think I have a prayer at foregiveness until the papers are signed. Right now Jerk is trying to control so much and is fining ways to hurt me. I feel like I'm still in the middle of it and that I have to be on the other side before I can consider forgiveness. I'm sure I will need to forgive to find inner peace, but I'm a long ways from there!