Dear Chris, Thank You for your help! It made things alot clearer that maybe he does care but doesn't want to show it. I guess I'd better get used to this. We do not have children together however he helped raise my children their whole lives. I married him when they were 3 and 1. They are now 41 and 39 years old. He has always been very close to the oldest. She is really hurt by his actions as well. I think once this is over he will never see me again. He is the type. Like Alone this all seems so useless. I think it could be fixed if we each made a commentment to working on it. I am ready,willing and able to do that and he is not. I should realize this marriage has been very bad for a very long time now. It was impossible to live the way he made me live and that is why I filed. Unless things were really different I could not go back anyway. You give us all great hope for making it through. Thank You again.
I give hope??? I feel like such a mess...but thank you.
I know how you feel about how things could really work themselves out. I told ex I thought we should separate 8mos before I actually left. If he would have risen to the occassion I think we could have worked out our issues too. Instead he just got worse. Now its like hes punishing me for leaving...but he didnt do anything to help the situation!!! After that last awful 8mos I just couldnt take it another day, and moved out a month later.
Relationships need two people to work..we cant do it by ourselves. If they dont want to work for it, than its unfortunate, but we have to move on.
The day doesnt matter Kathlen, you write when you need to write just like all of us. I understand that dang pain. Honestly though, I think you should ask him to leave. Divorce is hard enough without having them in the same house. My stbx sent the kids Easter cards and chewed me out because they didnt call him. I that somehow my fault? They are both teens. The pain is going to be there until we can deal with it but I am glad mine left. I wouldnt be able to handle it as terribly as I am lol if he were still here. Ithink you should try to sit down, talk things over and if you guys decide to go ahead, ask him to leave because it is hurting you so much.