I don't know much about your situation but I think your daughter is 17 years old?...It may not be that she is "scared" of you...but simply that her father and the other woman could be offerring alot of stuff (gifts, extra late hours...etc)...teenagers at that time will go choose and sometimes they choose poorly.
...this situation is exactly what I tried to tell other ladies here. Some of them are still protecting their ex...not being honest to their kids about the stuff ex pulls...they said something about fooling around with women is something between adults...and kids shouldn't know. Then later, their kids will go to Dad (and worse..the OW)...not knowing all the stuff.
..it's just too bad.
All you can do now is stay strong...yes, I still think you are strong and it isn't an image despite what your counsellor is saying.
It's a real disappoitment but if it doesn't work out over there, your daughter will contact you again...just keep the relationship open...very hard on Mom.
Your ex and the other woman will lavish her with stuff...just to twist the knife some more...so be aware of it and talk to your counsellor too.