You've come a long way, Cindy. Now your are thinking about your future instead of what your husband is doing.
I'm older than you and maybe I am one of those bitter ones, although I don't like to think so. I have no interest whatsoever in meeting another man. I also was badly hurt and don't want to put myself in a position where that could happen again.
Being in a new town where I don't know anyone other than my family, I haven't been able to do a lot of socializing. I'm working on it, and maybe that's the key here. Work on it. It's a small town and like most small towns there are equal numbers of churches as there are bars. I was never one to go into a bar alone, so I've been going to church. Hopefully, I'll have a more active social life with time.
You'll be just fine. Write down on something you will keep, like maybe your social security card, write "what will I be doing five years from now".
In five years you'll look at it again and be amazed at how far you have come.
I am 64 and got a divorce after 36 years of abuse...mostly verbal.
Age is irrelevant to me. i am a freshman in college. I won a scholarship, because of what I wrote about my life.
I am a dancer, singer, author, poetess. I am driven to make a difference in the world. I am the moderator of an abused survivors' group
I've written my memooir (not published yet), my book, Sanctuary of the Soul (poems of anguish, healing, hope, comfort and celebration) is amazingly endorsed by Elie Wiesel, Wayne Dyer, Nikki Giovanni, Drs. Alice Miller, Larry Dossey and many others.
In other words, live your life. Don't worry about things you cannot do anything about (age)....most things we worry about never happen....when they/it does, deal with it then. Don't waste your precious time and energy on something you cannot control.....
Try to live each day as if it is your last...because....someday....it WILL be!
I have spent my life overcoming....a childhood of poverty, physical, emotional, sexual abuse, never knew my father....had my hand held over an open fire by a drunken neighbor.... no phone, car, refrigerator, tub/shower, etc., joined the army right out of high school and married someone like my mother (origina abuser): and tried to fix the past.......church voted me out of membership, etc., etc....
We all have choices....live in the past, etc....and waste our precious time and lives doing that...
or.....LIVE!
Yes, even after 6 years after the divorce; I still grieve but it doesn't prevent me from doing what I want to.
Dear Alone, I know you are a very interesting good person and someone would love to have you for their own. I don't think you are going to have to go that far. If he does actually leave I'll bet he'll be right back. This is a pipe dream and it is going to blow up in his face just watch. If he doesn't come back you will find someone even better who won't betray you. Try and take care of yourself first. You are in our thoughts and prayers always.