Becky,
You summed up everything so well in your last paragraph. You don't need to always have the answer to why your ex does what he does. You just need to believe in yourself and who you are. I totally agree with you that these men are selfish...they not only walk out on a family for another woman and the children are forced to deal with a divorce as well, but then during it all they continue to put their own needs and wants before the children and if the children do not fit into their plan, then to them it's..."Oh well, I need to be happy....etc" That is why they walk out for these women in the first place along with everything else they do that we just don't want to even comprehend their motives for. Keep telling your children you love them and be there for them now, when it is so important as they go through this divorce. You are on your way to moving on.
I am so sorry your babies are sad. I cried just reading your entry. Hug those kids and love them. At the end Jerk will be the one to loser. Your kids see everything you do for them and will remember the times you have hugged and kiss them when Jerk has made them feel bad. Hang in there you are doing a great job. You are an inspiration to all mothers out there. Take care.
Dear Becky, It is very clear to me the kids know what is going on. You are their rock. I believe if I remember correctly the kids are seeing a therapist. If not they need to. Sometimes these guys have to be called on the carpet and then they improve. It is all to painfully apparent that they put themselves first and foremost or you wouldn't be divorced in the first place. I am so proud of you and the strength and example you set for all of us. You are truely a wonderful, caring, sacrificing mom and the kids see that. Try and take some time for you though. It is hard to hold up both ends.