Dear Becky, It is very clear to me the kids know what is going on. You are their rock. I believe if I remember correctly the kids are seeing a therapist. If not they need to. Sometimes these guys have to be called on the carpet and then they improve. It is all to painfully apparent that they put themselves first and foremost or you wouldn't be divorced in the first place. I am so proud of you and the strength and example you set for all of us. You are truely a wonderful, caring, sacrificing mom and the kids see that. Try and take some time for you though. It is hard to hold up both ends.