I think you hate your ex... at least a little bit. This is what I read in your post... or at least you are very very angry with him. Which of course is a legitimate feeling to have in your situation.
I am very sorry for all the things that happened to us women here and sometimes I am wondering if we can ever trust another man again. How would that be possible.

My situation is a little different but I feel we are all screwed when it comes to love and relationships. Kind of damaged I suppose... don't know what to do about that.

Dear Dixie, I feel so bad for your son! I know you probably have a hard time believing this but you are so lucky to be rid of this man. If he drinks this much that is really a problem! I just hope your son doesn't follow that poor example. I guess there is a genetic link to alcoholism. It is just a matter of time before your stbx gets caught drinking and driving. You stbx's partner probably is mad because the divorce is impacting him as well. You are a first rate mom Dixie and your kids are blessed to have you in their corner. Your poor boy is probably going to have alot more heartache from his dad before it is all said and done. The kids are always to come first but alot of men don't see it that way. Your ex doesn't deserve your pity! He is the one who started all this. He did you a big favor and time will show you that. Go have a better life than you had before with him. You would be a real good catch for someone. Thinking of you and your kids.