I'm not saying you shouldn't leave. It sounds like your decision is made in your mind and the only things holding you back are practical things. Before I left my husband, I originally wanted to give it a year but later when I realized he wasn't trying like he vehemently insisted that he was I reached the end of my rope. You do deserve to be loved and touched and if he still belittles your feelings after so many years I doubt he will change. And if he already refuses counseling, your path is clear. You need to take care of your self and your last child. I'm betting your child will see a difference in you and by leaving you are showing that your husband's behavior is not acceptable. Good Luck! We are here for you.