I'm glad you reached that realization. In the process of my divorce, I was learning this too, but you put it so much more eloquently. We are responsible for ourselves, and how we feel. Though I will say changing the way one thinks is no easy task. Something that helped and is actually really hard is to love yourself in the eye (using a mirror) and sincerely say "I love you. I am worthy of love. I am capable of giving and receiving love." ten times. It helped me accept who I am physically and emotionally.