I sure wish I knew the answer to that. Because you know you and I are so much alike. My ex just called me and we talked for a minute then the phone was silent. I kept saying "are you there??? Don't hang up on me!! and I just started crying, out of control crying. Well I hung up because he wasn't there. The phone rang right away and he was yelling into it "I will never hang up on you, I didn't hang up on you the phone just cut out. I was crying so hard by then I couldn't stop. He just kept telling me to take a breath and slow down and that he would never do that to me. We only talked for a few more minutes then he had to leave to go to dinner. He is working in in Montana this week and just got back to his room. He is going to call me when he gets back from dinner, if he remembers I hope.
so I also keep telling him how much I want him back and how I want our life back. I have to remind myself that he knows exactly how I feel so I shouldn't keep reminding him but it just comes out of my mouth. I keep thinking if I just say it one more time or say it the right way he is going to say "Ok I'm coming home" I know that is stupid and will never happen but it just comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. If I didn't love him I am sure it would not be an issue at all. What a mess our lives are in right now. I sure wish I could see a year into the future and know how this all turns out.
Well in the mean time we just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and try and keep our sanity. If it is meant to be it will be. That is easy to say but not so easy to live. Take care and I keep you in my prayers.