Such a tragic story. The bigger issue is an 18 yr old who already has a felony on his record. Has your husband made any attempt to visit his son in jail. This is the begining of this child's life yet it seems like the end of it. The money is important I agree because this is money which might help with rehab if it is a drug issue. My heart is breaking for the son. Maybe your husband could take the power back from the ex with his children. Perhaps start by writing to his son. Send a small amount of money to him. I think they can have you do that so he can get things for himself (special food ect.). This child is not lost yet. How long will he be in prison? Can you incourage your husband to try and open the channels of communication here? My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.