Janet our situations sound very similar. Married 23 Been divorced 8 months and he married his affair partner 6 months after the divorce. . I really felt like I was on the road to healing after the divorce. But when I found out that he married her and kept it a secret from our kids...it was like a double smack in the face. Yes I divorced him but it doesn't take away the emotions. . It basically revalidated that he did not love me or wanted the marriage. And it has once again put his kids at odds with him. So I can empathize with you. No one understands this feeling if they've not experienced it. I would recommend seeing a therapist. They can help talk through your feelings (which are probably all over the place)