i don't think you are being selfish, i think he was selfish to deny helping you out with groceries and it took others to convince him to do so.
BUT, divorce regret is a real thing (typically for the person who wants/initiates the divorce. so you have to be 100% sure this is what you want before going down such a permanent path. if you are not sure, then i'd tell him how you feel and be COMPLETELY honest. explain that if he will not change and go to counseling to work on these issues, then you may need to start considering divorce.
you at least have to tell him how you feel and give him the option to save the marriage or work on it before pulling the plug. trust me, you don't want divorce regret. you don't want to look back someday and ask yourself, "what if we did counseling and i had tried to make it work before getting divorced".
if you try and it doesn't work, then you won't have to live with the regret of NOT trying your hardest.
it sounds to me like you are still unsure if this is what you want, thus why i'm advising you so. i just know if it were me, i'd want to do everything possible to save it first. but i don't know your husband or your marriage, in fact i'm a complete stranger to you. so perhaps read up on divorce regret and also strategies to try to save your marriage and go from there.