Re: I left but I still can’t break the cycle of pain from a toxic relationship.....
When I read you, it can feel your pain.
Tell me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that you still are very attached to this man, even if you don't want to.
You want him out of your life but in the same time, you still hope that something happen, that he miraculously change and become the loving and caring man you need.
Because that's what you really need. You need someone who is really here for you. Someone who truly loves you and care for you.
However, I doubt this man will ever give you any of these. All you will get from him will be frustrations, sadness and anger.
The first step will be to work on yourself. You have to be the one to take care of you, and LOVE you. Put yourself first and give yourself what you need. Once you accepted yourself as you are and you started to get more confidence, things will change for you.
You won't be attached anymore and you will start feeling more in peace.
Focus on yourself and give yourself everything you deserve.
When you are happy, you are healthy. And then, things happen naturally. You will start attracting the right people to you.
People who care.
Sending you my positive and loving vibes.:kissing_heart:
Re: I left but I still can’t break the cycle of pain from a toxic relationship.....
Hi Meg,
you said "love my ex is exhausting"
YES it is. Because you are not done working on your feelings/emotions for him. You are still carrying some stuff that are maybe difficult to forget and forgive.
You probably feel it is unfair. (and it is)
Just like you said, he is seen as "the cool and nice guy", while YOU KNOW what's behind the scene.
Toxic Relationship is often (or always...) going with manipulation/emotional abuse/control...
It is toxic because you are, somehow, forced to follow-up his/her lead. He/She is in charge. You become a follower, the person they want you to be.
This is hard. The worst part of it... You end up feeling guilty.
Guilty for leaving him/her, guilty for saying something bad about him/her, guilty for having bad feeling for her/him.
You believe that most of it is your fault.
Well Meg, that's the part you need to work on to be able to completely forgive him. If you do, it won't be as exhausting.
It will become practical (vs emotional). Then sharing kids education will be easier and you won't be as hurt by his actions.
Sending you positive and loving vibes :kissing_heart: