I myself am going through such a difficult phase. All i can say is try to stay strong mentally. Mind keeps on moving back and forth. we feel guilt anger different emotions which overwhelms us. Its a cycle, either you move out of this or keep on rolling in the same circle. I know its very scary and tears us down but sometimes this is the only way out.

Going back and forth myself. The torture I put myself through is overwhelming. And yes read books, go on this forum, talk to people, etc. Nothing helps. Leaving the comfort safety zone is very hard. Does it help to know other people feel the same way? It does for me a little.