When he spoke to his counselor he seemed like he saw no problem with his actions and has no idea what if any he needs to work on. He denies any and all mental disorders he could possibly have. I woke up today feeling very drained and just wanting a life far away from him. I've contacted a few marriage counselors like his therapist suggested. Im waiting to hear back from them. But I plan on telling him with a counselor present I just don't ever see this working. And that I feel trapped in this relationship with him. The more I ponder this the more I just need this marriage over. I truly don't believe he will ever stop the accusations or consent controlling behavior. If I open up and say anything to him he turns it around and makes it about himself. I could say I have a stomach ache and his response is so do I and mine is worse. He will take anything he hears and turn it around to ge about himself or what he believes is going on in the home.
There’s no obligation on you to remain in the relationship. Some women would simply walk away from it. The fact you are willing to see a marriage guidance counsellor with him, shows you care. But...if there’s no spark, no reciprocal love, if he’s childish eg claiming his stomach is ache is worse than yours and is making all kinds of false accusations re: you having affairs when you’re not- there has to be a line drawn. This is about your mental well-being, not only his. Having a counsellor present when you tell him that you don’t see a future together anymore, is a good idea. So too is having a suitcase of clothes in the trunk of your car and important documents and cash in your purse-In case you need to separate from him physically the moment you step outside the counsellor’s office door. We can’t know how he’ll react, so have a plan in place/on ‘standby’ to stay elsewhere with a close friend or family member if you feel that would be a good idea...
I am getting divorced from alcoholic as well. He is also mentally controlling. It came to the point that my kids were upset at school because of his behavior when he drinks. It was a swift kick in the butt to divorce him. The grief I am feeling is unbearable