I understand your pain. It hurts the most when the lights are off and you are in silence. Some things help but only in the moment. As soon as it is still and quiet all the thoughts and feeling of abandonment creeps in. I am deeply hurting as well. I never thought but actually I knew for longer than I was willing to admit that is was over. I need to find the strength to keep moving.

Your story is similar to mine. My husband cheated through the whole 30 year marriage. It hurt but I realized he had a problem not me. But then again I guess I did have a problem and it was remaining with him too long. I cried a lot and then I would think about how he treated me and dry my eyes. Think about how he treated you to get over him. I realized I was grieving over the “marriage” and not the “man.”

I understand your pain. I have been there. Buy the book “Leave a Cheater Gain a Life” it’s a great book, it helped me so much. See if you can find a community counselor or support group, there should be some in your area. He sounds like a classic narcissist, and that is someone you don’t want to hang on to. It’s going to take time, let yourself grieve. Don’t let people tell you to get over it, or it’s time to move on, they apparently have not been cheated on and lied to on a regular basis. Good luck and remember you are not alone.