I can totally relate to this. I am also going crazy living under one roof, separated with three kids one is not his, and I’m literally in a deep, dark spot feel like I just wanna die.
I asked for separation from my husband afer 23 years of marriage with 3 kids. He refused to acknowledge the separation. I had to force him to sign a separation agreement and lay out not to stake me or say bad things about me. He refused to move out. My in-house separation was probably the hardest period of my life. I shared a room with my daughter. He would follow me around the house, search through my trash, track me and constantly tell the kids I am leaving the family.
I never wanted to get a divorce, but he was very controlling. I finally filed with a divorce when he told me he had an STD. I found out he was involved with our nanny (that I fired) and another woman.
I did not want to move out because of my kids. I knew my ex would say I left them. So I stayed. I did endure abuse verbally and a little physical. I did end up buying the house and it has been good for my kids.
For kids, I would just stay strong and stay. If you don't think it would impact your kids, then move out. There is something to be said to start fresh.
It has been a year and a half from my divorce, and I am still recovering.
One more thing I wanted to share, I fought to have more than 50% custody of my kids. I did everything for them and earned the money. I was shocked that my husband was saying I he was the primary caregiver for the kids as I traveled for work. My ex was lazy, hardly worked and rather play sports. I had a full-time nanny to help with the kids. I was able to prove I was the primary caregiver through emails, registration for schools, applications to church, playdate arrangement etc. Fight as it is worth it. I have them 75% of the time.
I am so sorry that you’re going through this. My husband is still on the property but we’re doing it amicably and he’s going very soon. I know about the controlling as it’s been 35 years for us. I suggest getting your own attorney and filing against him in that depending on your state he can be required to leave.