I am very sorry for what you are going through. The toughest part of all of this is losing your best friend, the one person that you talk to about everything. Still, if he told you he is done, then he is. As painful as it is, you need to continue your life. It will be hard, but you will make it. His reaction is not coming from one little thing, he has been bottling things up and, instead of discussing all of them, exploded over the simmple one. Some people go to therapy, but more to be told they are right or convince themselves they tried than to actually put in the work.

I relate to the above answer my nars husband was done and blamed all on me I grieve everyday I actually wish I didn't divorce but have to move on good luck with your situation

I also married a nar. This was all about manipulation. No boundaries, verbal and emotional abuse, i was always the problem and he wasn't. I believed that for 14 years of our relationship until a light bulb went off. I poured into him like never before and didn't get it back. I walked around on egg shells not wanting to make him mad where it would lead to weeks sometimes months of silent treatment under the same roof. Mentally I'm prepared to let go but I understand emotionally its going to take some time. He was my bff, my only friend, he was a big part of my daily routine. He's threathen to divorce me 3-4 times and even moved out twice. Instead of my traditional response saying its my fault and I'll do better, I had to force myself to say ok, because thr is nothing else more I can do to prove my love to him. He asked for a divorce over something beyond small and petty and said it was the straw that broke the camel's back. This is so you know, you are not alone. Your story is too familiar.